I seriously put it to my wife like this." I can stay home and occupy my free time like this. Or I can go out on crack binges with hookers...You decide. I may game a lot . But at least you know where I am and what I am doing. It's not any different than you sitting and channel surfing the tele all night." Seriously, there are worse things a person could be doing. If a woman is going to leave you because you play games, you have to ask yourself or her what the real issue is. Because gaming is probably a code word for a deeper issue. What does she prefer you do? A married couple can't spend every second of every day cuddling and talking. it's not healthy. People need some "me" time. Time you do what you do and not worry about things. Some find it in books, some find it in games and some find it watching Judge Judy. What is her hobby or how does she relax? Tell her you'll quit gaming if she stops doing whatever. But you also need a healthy balance of things. If all you do is play games then you might have some issues too. Does it cut into your responsibilities? Does she feel like she does everything..cooking, cleaning etc.? If she does help her out. I dunno, I am 37 and have been married for 12 years. I still game a lot. People aren't hard to please. They just want to feel special once in awhile. If you do that, you shouldn't have issues.
Good point, but...dude, I have crack binges all the time when I'm gaming. No hookers, but still.
I been married 23 years and have been playing MMO's since EQ1. I make sure to give my wife her time then when she falls asleep I get up and play my games. The lack of sleep you get is up to you.
I am having serious withdrawl problems here, I really really need to play my games ! How can I convince my wife that I need this? I have offered many times to set her up to play her own or with me but she has no interest at all. Please, anyone with advice? Thanks !
Look mate.
Just think. Who is the boss in the house? If its your wife , you are in lot of problems.
Are you functioning as a husband ? You provide for your family ?
Than you need your leisure time. She have to understand that , and there should be no missunderstanding.
She knew you are gamer , when you dated ?
But dont bring her into MMOs. Its like addicting somebody to crack. Its no good !
Keep your gaming 2-3 hours a day. Play late night. And sleep less
I think as long as you work and are taking care of business you should be aloud a little free time to do something you enjoy. Playing when your wife is not around would be ideal, and maybe do the dishes or some laundry before you log on so she can't say you didn't do anything all day
Luckily my wife doesn't give me grief over playing games, because she knows how stressful my job is. When she see's I've had a bad day she will even encourage me to play.
Just trying to live long enough to play a new, released MMORPG, playing New Worlds atm
Fools find no pleasure in understanding but delight in airing their own opinions. Pvbs 18:2, NIV
Don't just play games, inhabit virtual worlds™
"This is the most intelligent, well qualified and articulate response to a post I have ever seen on these forums. It's a shame most people here won't have the attention span to read past the second line." - Anon
I MET my husband in EQ2...I got bit by the MMO bug while trying SWG. After that, I try games, and I play casually. I was going to quit EQ2 but then I met this charming guardian dwarf, and we developed a friendship and relationship out of game. We've had quite a relationsship...him being deployed, me quitting college to move around with him, us marrying and having a kid all in about 4 years...We're still crazy about each other. While he was deployed, he couldn't game and all he thought about was me...he called me everyday, even when he shouldn't have...he was completely romantic and devoted.
BUT
As soon as he got home and in front of a computer, he completely morphed into someone that I struggled being attracted to sometimes. Even though we met on an online game, I too, get a little tired of looking at the back of his head sometimes. There's a difference between playing to unwind and playing because you're addicted. I'm the family member and friend of many various addicts, and it's the exact same effect. That can completely screw up not only relationships, but life in general. My husband had to rejoin the military because he can't get focused or achieve what he wants to do without gaming getting in the way. At least now he's got a job through the military that can help him as a civilian... For a while I was the only one working (a shitty job I might add), we were losing more money than we were making, and I'd come home and to see him playing LOTRO when he said he'd be job hunting, and he did this all day and night! I like playing too, but come on! Our 1-year-old son plays by himself when my husband is "watching" him. Yes, he helps me out when I ask, yes he rocks in general and I'd still do anything for him...but gaming can take away from important things when done in excess. What you have to ask yourself, truthfully, and painfully, is are you gaming too much? I find my husband can't just play here and there, he has to play all the time or not at all. I have gotten extremely upset about this many times. He's not romantic, and I'm not holding out anything from him, so I'm left feeling sort of used and empty...maybe it's a curse, but us women tend to like having a connection with our spouses.
I'm sure it's not just the gaming that's irking your wife either...usually because you're gaming she feels upset about other things that are related, or something you're neglecting. I can't say which side is right, but a marriage takes effort, maturity, and selflessness...and if you can't take part in that then you have no business promising your future to someone you care for. It's not to say you can't be goofy, childish or fun...you just have to pay attention to what happens to people you love when you do it at the expense of more important things. Marriage can be great if it's something you truly want and are prepared for. Some guys (and girls) simply want to have fun and think only of their own needs.
As others have said; grow a pair. I hate guys who try to blame their wife, because they are too weak to tell her what he wants. If your not comfortable telling your wife that you are going to play MMOs for a reasonable amount of time, then that's just sad. We can't help you.
Tell your wife to get a hobby or go get some friends. No one likes a clingy, possessive person.
As others have said; grow a pair. I hate guys who try to blame their wife, because they are too weak to tell her what he wants. If your not comfortable telling your wife that you are going to play MMOs for a reasonable amount of time, then that's just sad. We can't help you. Tell your wife to get a hobby or go get some friends. No one likes a clingy, possessive person.
What's the point of marriage if neither of you likes spending time together...seems hollow and pointless. Might as well just sleep around and never grow up...at least you won't suck someone down with you forever. But yes, the guy needs to be honest, that's for sure.
As others have said; grow a pair. I hate guys who try to blame their wife, because they are too weak to tell her what he wants. If your not comfortable telling your wife that you are going to play MMOs for a reasonable amount of time, then that's just sad. We can't help you. Tell your wife to get a hobby or go get some friends. No one likes a clingy, possessive person.
Riiiight! And when they stop being clingy and possesive and finds someone who actually cares and pays attention her, it'll be the other way around...
I've had friends lose their wives over games, it's just really sad. Here's another game you can play though, its called real life. Try it, I'm sure it will fit all your withdrawal needs.
I never get posts like this and I apologize in advance as I don't think I have any help for you. All you guys out there that really enjoy your gaming hobby and you date/marry women who have no interest in games/gaming. When I first decided in my mind that I was going to get serious with my then girlfriend now wife of 7 years (we've been together for 11 years so I'm talking month2-3 in that first year) I told her straight I'm a gamer. I don't do cars, or gambling, or any of the other "pastimes" that normally get men in trouble with their women. I play computer games, pure and simple and I plan to until the day I can't sit in front of a monitor and work a keyboard and mouse.
I knew she was a computer nerd like me, but to my surprise she said she loved to play computer games too. She doesn't play often, but the last two games she finished were Bioshock and Crysis. Why oh why would a gamer marry a non-gamer. I know how addicted we can get (remaining in the realm of taking care of our responsibiities, mind you- real world comes first). Anyway, best of luck man. To all of you young guys out there that may read this. I don't care how good-looking she is or how intelligent she is, if she doesn't share your gaming passion, it isn't worth it. Okay, maybe one circumstance and that being she is totally cool with you playing and has the type personality/intelligence to realize people need "me time" just as much as "us time" to be happy (and she has hobbies of her own to do while you game).
If she doesn't meet the above 2 criteria...then I hope you are a masochist.
"Many nights, my friend... Many nights I've put a blade to your throat while you were sleeping. Glad I never killed you, Steve. You're alright..."
As others have said; grow a pair. I hate guys who try to blame their wife, because they are too weak to tell her what he wants. If your not comfortable telling your wife that you are going to play MMOs for a reasonable amount of time, then that's just sad. We can't help you. Tell your wife to get a hobby or go get some friends. No one likes a clingy, possessive person.
What's the point of marriage if neither of you likes spending time together...seems hollow and pointless. Might as well just sleep around and never grow up...at least you won't suck someone down with you forever. But yes, the guy needs to be honest, that's for sure.
There's a distinct difference between spending time together and spending every single second of your free time joined at the hip. People need "me time" (at least most do). They need time alone to do what they want to do. I sit in my game room and argue with you guys and play games while my wife sits in her home office chatting with her writer friends and sometimes playing a game. We still both have our own little separate "me time" communities that we don't share. Sure, we tell stories back and forth about our interactions with each other's group, but there are times we are involved in our computer time that we may not talk for an hour. Then, we're just as likely to go downstairs and chat for 2 hours in the kitchen, then come back up to our offices and not talk again for a while.
There's a balance there. To expect someone not to have time to "do there own thing", even and especially when married, is to steer toward disaster. People still need time to be themselves. If he doesn't have time to do his thing, he's probably going to ask "Well, what is she giving up then?" and if he can't find an equitable sacrifice by her, resentment will build. Resentment leads to hate, hate leads a lawyer and lawyer leads to divorce. All of which could be avoided if she left him play a computer game for an hour or two a day. *shrug*
"Many nights, my friend... Many nights I've put a blade to your throat while you were sleeping. Glad I never killed you, Steve. You're alright..."
This is the problem, men CHOOSE clingy women to marry, one with no hobbies or friends. She makes him feel like NUMBER #1 and it strokes his ego enough to give her the ring. Most men can't stand an independent women who has her own hobbies and friends. She makes him feel insecure and unwanted because she isnt fawning over him 24/7.
Sadly as we see so many times it plays out that clingy wifey eventually ends up cramping his style, then he walks around complaining about the "ole ball and chain" and how she never lets him do anything, and blah blah blah, whine whine whine.
When you marry a woman with no other life other than you suck it up and take it. YOU made the decision to marry her, so live with it. But no worries, even clingy wifey will get tired and eventually file for divorce. As 80% of most divorces are initiated by the women I say go with the previous advice here and just wait it out.
Wow, Broomy you don't happen to be a woman do ya? :-P Anyway, I've been married 15 years and was not a gamer to start. I game all the time and my wife has her gaming PC right next to me. It took a little while but she started to join me as a gamer. She doesn't game near as much as I do but she does understand it. I feel blessed for that and she never gives me crap over how much time I spend gaming. It may be a little different for me though than others in the sense that I run a gaming community and she says in doing that it's not all fun and games for me at times.
Another cool thing is that she will also aid me in hosting LAN parties and puts up with people being here all night long while gaming. Ahhh, I'm a blessed man! :-D I don't know OP how long you've been married but sometimes you just have to move slowly with things until she's more comfortable with it especially as you two mature as a couple. I can tell you though that if my wife had a real problem with me gaming frequently I wouldn't chose my games over her. Call me what you will but she's much more important than video games.
Marriage is like a whine. The longer you give it to age the better it gets!
Instead of gaming why don't you try to set her up with a hobby. Ask her what she likes too do. Unfortunately most women will tell you they just like to watch tv, buy clothes, put on makeup, etc etc.....sigh. BORINGGG.
I feel for you man especially if your just trying to get your wife to enjoy your hobbies with you, but I wouldn't give up gaming for a woman NEVER. Thankfully my wifes a gamer to heart even more than me, helps that shes chinese and was brought up in that culture. Why don't you take her to the penny expo this year with you, maybe she'll like that and give her a spark good luck. Oh and there's always casual games (pukes)
I am having serious withdrawl problems here, I really really need to play my games ! How can I convince my wife that I need this? I have offered many times to set her up to play her own or with me but she has no interest at all. Please, anyone with advice? Thanks !
When you come home from work in the evening, make sure all the windows are open so the neighbors can hear you, and then shout out, "Honey, your horney husband's home".
She will go into another part of the house, pretend she didn't hear you, and leave you alone for the rest of the evening.
Provided you've been married more than 10 years......
Instead of gaming why don't you try to set her up with a hobby. Ask her what she likes too do. Unfortunately most women will tell you they just like to watch tv, buy clothes, put on makeup, etc etc.....sigh. BORINGGG. I feel for you man especially if your just trying to get your wife to enjoy your hobbies with you, but I wouldn't give up gaming for a woman NEVER. Thankfully my wifes a gamer to heart even more than me, helps that shes chinese and was brought up in that culture. Why don't you take her to the penny expo this year with you, maybe she'll like that and give her a spark good luck. Oh and there's always casual games (pukes)
That's what I did, lucky for me the hobby my wife took up was cooking, so now I get to game while she researches recipes and makes delicious dishes. I win all the way around
On a side note, we did have the conversation when we first met about my hobby. I explained to her that if I would never stop gaming and she told me that she would never expect me to........happily married 17 years.
I am having serious withdrawl problems here, I really really need to play my games ! How can I convince my wife that I need this? I have offered many times to set her up to play her own or with me but she has no interest at all. Please, anyone with advice? Thanks !
My wife don't play any games. However, she has her own hobby and she will respect mine. I cannot play all day and nite but she will be fine if I am doing it in moderation.
This is easy. Women are very susceptible to bribes. You pay for some time at the spa, a massage, a peidicure, new hair do, or some shopping to get rid of her while you play games.
When she comes back, turn off the computer and let her tell you how wonderful the massage was, or tell you all about what she bought.
Comments
Good point, but...dude, I have crack binges all the time when I'm gaming. No hookers, but still.
the official MMORPG.com deadhead
withdrawl...meh
no game is worth more than life man..ever
I been married 23 years and have been playing MMO's since EQ1. I make sure to give my wife her time then when she falls asleep I get up and play my games. The lack of sleep you get is up to you.
Look mate.
Just think. Who is the boss in the house? If its your wife , you are in lot of problems.
Are you functioning as a husband ? You provide for your family ?
Than you need your leisure time. She have to understand that , and there should be no missunderstanding.
She knew you are gamer , when you dated ?
But dont bring her into MMOs. Its like addicting somebody to crack. Its no good !
Keep your gaming 2-3 hours a day. Play late night. And sleep less
i run on 4-5 hours of sleep since swg launch
you adapt
I think as long as you work and are taking care of business you should be aloud a little free time to do something you enjoy. Playing when your wife is not around would be ideal, and maybe do the dishes or some laundry before you log on so she can't say you didn't do anything all day
Luckily my wife doesn't give me grief over playing games, because she knows how stressful my job is. When she see's I've had a bad day she will even encourage me to play.
LOL..... this. Not so many years ago my wife of 25+ years told me that I had to chose between her and my gaming habit.
I asked her in a totally serious manner when she was moving out of the house.
Subject has never come up again.
"True friends stab you in the front." | Oscar Wilde
"I need to finish" - Christian Wolff: The Accountant
Just trying to live long enough to play a new, released MMORPG, playing New Worlds atm
Fools find no pleasure in understanding but delight in airing their own opinions. Pvbs 18:2, NIV
Don't just play games, inhabit virtual worlds™
"This is the most intelligent, well qualified and articulate response to a post I have ever seen on these forums. It's a shame most people here won't have the attention span to read past the second line." - Anon
I MET my husband in EQ2...I got bit by the MMO bug while trying SWG. After that, I try games, and I play casually. I was going to quit EQ2 but then I met this charming guardian dwarf, and we developed a friendship and relationship out of game. We've had quite a relationsship...him being deployed, me quitting college to move around with him, us marrying and having a kid all in about 4 years...We're still crazy about each other. While he was deployed, he couldn't game and all he thought about was me...he called me everyday, even when he shouldn't have...he was completely romantic and devoted.
BUT
As soon as he got home and in front of a computer, he completely morphed into someone that I struggled being attracted to sometimes. Even though we met on an online game, I too, get a little tired of looking at the back of his head sometimes. There's a difference between playing to unwind and playing because you're addicted. I'm the family member and friend of many various addicts, and it's the exact same effect. That can completely screw up not only relationships, but life in general. My husband had to rejoin the military because he can't get focused or achieve what he wants to do without gaming getting in the way. At least now he's got a job through the military that can help him as a civilian... For a while I was the only one working (a shitty job I might add), we were losing more money than we were making, and I'd come home and to see him playing LOTRO when he said he'd be job hunting, and he did this all day and night! I like playing too, but come on! Our 1-year-old son plays by himself when my husband is "watching" him. Yes, he helps me out when I ask, yes he rocks in general and I'd still do anything for him...but gaming can take away from important things when done in excess. What you have to ask yourself, truthfully, and painfully, is are you gaming too much? I find my husband can't just play here and there, he has to play all the time or not at all. I have gotten extremely upset about this many times. He's not romantic, and I'm not holding out anything from him, so I'm left feeling sort of used and empty...maybe it's a curse, but us women tend to like having a connection with our spouses.
I'm sure it's not just the gaming that's irking your wife either...usually because you're gaming she feels upset about other things that are related, or something you're neglecting. I can't say which side is right, but a marriage takes effort, maturity, and selflessness...and if you can't take part in that then you have no business promising your future to someone you care for. It's not to say you can't be goofy, childish or fun...you just have to pay attention to what happens to people you love when you do it at the expense of more important things. Marriage can be great if it's something you truly want and are prepared for. Some guys (and girls) simply want to have fun and think only of their own needs.
As others have said; grow a pair. I hate guys who try to blame their wife, because they are too weak to tell her what he wants. If your not comfortable telling your wife that you are going to play MMOs for a reasonable amount of time, then that's just sad. We can't help you.
Tell your wife to get a hobby or go get some friends. No one likes a clingy, possessive person.
What's the point of marriage if neither of you likes spending time together...seems hollow and pointless. Might as well just sleep around and never grow up...at least you won't suck someone down with you forever. But yes, the guy needs to be honest, that's for sure.
Riiiight! And when they stop being clingy and possesive and finds someone who actually cares and pays attention her, it'll be the other way around...
I've had friends lose their wives over games, it's just really sad. Here's another game you can play though, its called real life. Try it, I'm sure it will fit all your withdrawal needs.
I never get posts like this and I apologize in advance as I don't think I have any help for you. All you guys out there that really enjoy your gaming hobby and you date/marry women who have no interest in games/gaming. When I first decided in my mind that I was going to get serious with my then girlfriend now wife of 7 years (we've been together for 11 years so I'm talking month2-3 in that first year) I told her straight I'm a gamer. I don't do cars, or gambling, or any of the other "pastimes" that normally get men in trouble with their women. I play computer games, pure and simple and I plan to until the day I can't sit in front of a monitor and work a keyboard and mouse.
I knew she was a computer nerd like me, but to my surprise she said she loved to play computer games too. She doesn't play often, but the last two games she finished were Bioshock and Crysis. Why oh why would a gamer marry a non-gamer. I know how addicted we can get (remaining in the realm of taking care of our responsibiities, mind you- real world comes first). Anyway, best of luck man. To all of you young guys out there that may read this. I don't care how good-looking she is or how intelligent she is, if she doesn't share your gaming passion, it isn't worth it. Okay, maybe one circumstance and that being she is totally cool with you playing and has the type personality/intelligence to realize people need "me time" just as much as "us time" to be happy (and she has hobbies of her own to do while you game).
If she doesn't meet the above 2 criteria...then I hope you are a masochist.
"Many nights, my friend... Many nights I've put a blade to your throat while you were sleeping. Glad I never killed you, Steve. You're alright..."
Chavez y Chavez
What's the point of marriage if neither of you likes spending time together...seems hollow and pointless. Might as well just sleep around and never grow up...at least you won't suck someone down with you forever. But yes, the guy needs to be honest, that's for sure.
There's a distinct difference between spending time together and spending every single second of your free time joined at the hip. People need "me time" (at least most do). They need time alone to do what they want to do. I sit in my game room and argue with you guys and play games while my wife sits in her home office chatting with her writer friends and sometimes playing a game. We still both have our own little separate "me time" communities that we don't share. Sure, we tell stories back and forth about our interactions with each other's group, but there are times we are involved in our computer time that we may not talk for an hour. Then, we're just as likely to go downstairs and chat for 2 hours in the kitchen, then come back up to our offices and not talk again for a while.
There's a balance there. To expect someone not to have time to "do there own thing", even and especially when married, is to steer toward disaster. People still need time to be themselves. If he doesn't have time to do his thing, he's probably going to ask "Well, what is she giving up then?" and if he can't find an equitable sacrifice by her, resentment will build. Resentment leads to hate, hate leads a lawyer and lawyer leads to divorce. All of which could be avoided if she left him play a computer game for an hour or two a day. *shrug*
"Many nights, my friend... Many nights I've put a blade to your throat while you were sleeping. Glad I never killed you, Steve. You're alright..."
Chavez y Chavez
This is the problem, men CHOOSE clingy women to marry, one with no hobbies or friends. She makes him feel like NUMBER #1 and it strokes his ego enough to give her the ring. Most men can't stand an independent women who has her own hobbies and friends. She makes him feel insecure and unwanted because she isnt fawning over him 24/7.
Sadly as we see so many times it plays out that clingy wifey eventually ends up cramping his style, then he walks around complaining about the "ole ball and chain" and how she never lets him do anything, and blah blah blah, whine whine whine.
When you marry a woman with no other life other than you suck it up and take it. YOU made the decision to marry her, so live with it. But no worries, even clingy wifey will get tired and eventually file for divorce. As 80% of most divorces are initiated by the women I say go with the previous advice here and just wait it out.
Cheers!
Current Games: WOW, EVE Online
dunno what to say, i'm one of the lucky ones. my wilfe plays the same games i do, and sometimes she doesn't ....
"We aren't going to ... Period. End of statement."
ya. ok. whatever.
but what do i know, i'm only a vanbois i'm told.
Wow, Broomy you don't happen to be a woman do ya? :-P Anyway, I've been married 15 years and was not a gamer to start. I game all the time and my wife has her gaming PC right next to me. It took a little while but she started to join me as a gamer. She doesn't game near as much as I do but she does understand it. I feel blessed for that and she never gives me crap over how much time I spend gaming. It may be a little different for me though than others in the sense that I run a gaming community and she says in doing that it's not all fun and games for me at times.
Another cool thing is that she will also aid me in hosting LAN parties and puts up with people being here all night long while gaming. Ahhh, I'm a blessed man! :-D I don't know OP how long you've been married but sometimes you just have to move slowly with things until she's more comfortable with it especially as you two mature as a couple. I can tell you though that if my wife had a real problem with me gaming frequently I wouldn't chose my games over her. Call me what you will but she's much more important than video games.
Marriage is like a whine. The longer you give it to age the better it gets!
Instead of gaming why don't you try to set her up with a hobby. Ask her what she likes too do. Unfortunately most women will tell you they just like to watch tv, buy clothes, put on makeup, etc etc.....sigh. BORINGGG.
I feel for you man especially if your just trying to get your wife to enjoy your hobbies with you, but I wouldn't give up gaming for a woman NEVER. Thankfully my wifes a gamer to heart even more than me, helps that shes chinese and was brought up in that culture. Why don't you take her to the penny expo this year with you, maybe she'll like that and give her a spark good luck. Oh and there's always casual games (pukes)
When you come home from work in the evening, make sure all the windows are open so the neighbors can hear you, and then shout out, "Honey, your horney husband's home".
She will go into another part of the house, pretend she didn't hear you, and leave you alone for the rest of the evening.
Provided you've been married more than 10 years......
.....under that, you're screwed
Lies, Broomy! ALL LIES!
My wife was deceitful! Made me thinks he had hobbies, friend, motivation for a career! Then we got married and now..it's the couch.
Don't trust women! They're full of lies! Games are your only chance for happiness!
If you think its bad now, wait until you have kids. They usually take about 10 years before they can play online with you. Talk about withdrawl...
Vault-Tec analysts have concluded that the odds of worldwide nuclear armaggeddon this decade are 17,143,762... to 1.
That's what I did, lucky for me the hobby my wife took up was cooking, so now I get to game while she researches recipes and makes delicious dishes. I win all the way around
On a side note, we did have the conversation when we first met about my hobby. I explained to her that if I would never stop gaming and she told me that she would never expect me to........happily married 17 years.
My wife don't play any games. However, she has her own hobby and she will respect mine. I cannot play all day and nite but she will be fine if I am doing it in moderation.
This is easy. Women are very susceptible to bribes. You pay for some time at the spa, a massage, a peidicure, new hair do, or some shopping to get rid of her while you play games.
When she comes back, turn off the computer and let her tell you how wonderful the massage was, or tell you all about what she bought.
tell her you could be out spending money on drinking instead you are being responsible and staying home and spending money on a game
Ask her if she'd prefer you take your aggression out on her or on Goblins in a game.