Impossible!! How do you find time to play MMO's with spouse and kids?

Cryomatrix

Hi guys, 

I haven't posted on these forums in a long time but purchasing a gaming laptop for the first time in my life made me check this site that I hadn't checked in months?

I am married (3 years now and I have a 7 month-old boy). My work schedule would seem to be ideal for gaming as I work 14 days on with 24/7 call and then I am off for 14 days with absolutely zero commitments. My wife likes to work during the day from home especially when I am off work, so someone has to watch the kid. 

But I can't find time to play at all. How do you guys balance it with wife and kids? Does your spouse give you 2-3 hours a night interruption free? Am I in a fantasy world? 

My most recent MMO is Project Entropia but since I've been back on this site, BDO looks decent, but I can't even see myself purchasing any game because there's no time. Project Entropia is a game where there's no pressure to progress as it is a sandbox . . . and slot machine basically. 

So how do you guys do it?

Sincerely, 

Cryomatrix

Quazal.A

I cannot comment with new born, and when my grand-daughter comes over to stop (she is 3 in april) the only time i get to play is after 20:00 when she is in bed. Im lucky in that my missus nagged me to buy a gaming pc after i tried to give up gaming about 2 years ago, she got that pi55ed at me being downstairs with TV rights. That she pretty much frog-marched me to the pc shop to buy a new gaming pc

But, when the lil un comes over any time i try to catch an hour or 2 when she is awake she will come looking for me, so the only tyimes i get is when she fast asleep post 20:00

Only suggestion i can offer, is to come to an agreement that in your 14 days off, maybe agree to look after the lil un for 6-8 hours during day so your missus can do what she wants to do uninterrupted during day, but then in the evening you get some gaming time uninterrupted... that way you can both do what you wish..

Good luck , but as the lil un gets a bit older then his/her dependency gets less and your free time gets more

d_20

I didn't play mmos when I was raising my kid. Doing family stuff was way more fun and spending quality time with my son always took first priority when I didn't have to work. When he was old enough to play, we had a lot of fun together on the N64, the old xbox, etc. Once he was in high school I started to have time to play mmos when he was busy doing his stuff outside. Now he's graduating from uni. I have lots of time.

Family first. It's more fun and way more important than mmos.

Pepeq

Simple, you play your game while at work!

Warlyx

there is a couple in my static in FFXIV , had a kid 1 year ago ~ , still were able to play 2h every night (outside of some weeks ) , the kid was sleeping at the side and if cried or needed attention both stoped the raid , and we waited for them .

they are still raiding   , 2h , 4 days of the wek,  isnt that much , if its 1-8 years baby goes to sleep before raid even starts , and if u need to take care of the baby u just do it....ppl understands ,when the kid grow up , he could watch some TV , movie , read a book , play a bit.... until sleep time. U can go afk for 5-10 min to say good night > kiss , and back to the PC.

your spouse could watch Tv while you play , u can put a TV near the PC and use headset, or dont play with sound or low enough , i talked to her all the time while playing , every persons needs free time for their own , hobbies are important ....

irnbru69

become a casual, maybe a mobile mmo =E

edit: actually, stay away from mobile mmos ^^

Quizzical

Cryomatrix said:

But I can't find time to play at all. How do you guys balance it with wife and kids? Does your spouse give you 2-3 hours a night interruption free? Am I in a fantasy world? 

If you're playing a game that forces you to play in contiguous blocks of 2-3 hours, that's your problem.  Try finding a game that is more amenable to 10 or 15 minute blocks, and lets you just play for many consecutive blocks in a row if you have hours free at a time.  One of the things I liked about Uncharted Waters Online was that if something came up, I could usually be offline inside of 30 seconds without any loss of progress.

Quazal.A

Quizzical said:

Cryomatrix said:

But I can't find time to play at all. How do you guys balance it with wife and kids? Does your spouse give you 2-3 hours a night interruption free? Am I in a fantasy world? 

If you're playing a game that forces you to play in contiguous blocks of 2-3 hours, that's your problem.  Try finding a game that is more amenable to 10 or 15 minute blocks, and lets you just play for many consecutive blocks in a row if you have hours free at a time.  One of the things I liked about Uncharted Waters Online was that if something came up, I could usually be offline inside of 30 seconds without any loss of progress.

This also works, as for me and EvE is fairly easy to get up and go at drop of a hat as im just an industrialist and marketeer but ofc thats assuming your not in a fleet or pvping , but even then choose your ship right so if your in a fleet you can just cloak up whilst you attend to the lil un

MikePaladin

Well when my was older I was playing with her )) on half display youtube "animals for kids" or what ever your kids likes then I put her on my knee and as if I hug her with my left arm shes laying on my lefts side she kinda inside hugged by left arm this is important because it allows you to have your left hand on keyboard mean while your kid is hugged and can't basically fall ...and hurt But this is when they are older 2 years maybe they are already very steady .
I don't remember how many times she was sleeping at 7 +- months but I was playing mostly when she was sleeping ...
Now 2.5 years  she wakes  up I wash her change dippers put on day clothing we snak a little than she take my hand and take me to PC to put  her some kids show there are a lot on you tube . always had a bottle of fresh milk or drinking yogurt. Then again change diapers feed her with proper food  we have our own regime and with time set for every food intake
it looks like this

9 woke up until 10 washing clothing change dipper change at 10 until 11 she drinks a bottle of yogurt and some snacks ( now she doesn't eat much in this period of time because shes drinking  milk all night ) at 12 we eat  proper food at 2 we go to bed until 3.30 or 4    during sleep I play from 10 to 12 often I play because we do all the daily routine then take yogurt and go watch some kids shows.

its possible might be a bit overwhelming with multi tasking but you get used too
also set priorities  when everything is done you can play some video game while ur baby watching some shows on you tube

Note With me she never got hurt ))) I'm extremely careful but from what i've seen not every one is like this..
Well good luck man and remember your kid is priority number 1 no matter what )))) yeah I know it sounds wrong to highlight this but nowadays so many cases happen with kids and careless parents like kids freezing  to death on balcony while parents play video games ....

Also sorry for my Eng not my first lang. and not interested in checking orthography )))) while I have spare time.-_^

Blaze_Rocker

I would tend to agree that late night hours are the best for gaming because kids should be in bed. Of course this can present a different problem if you are use to going to bed early so you can then get up early.

I recommend considering the type of game you want to play and the impact it could have before actually starting anything. A classic mmorpg where the only pressure to progress comes from your own level of fun and the status of game friends may sound attractive but any type of raid, campaign or quest that takes multiple hours to complete could be problematic for your sleep schedule. Even if you are initially able to commit to such a quest/event a restless child could prevent you from doing your part for the team. You could either end up as a burden on the team or simply be unable to finish and end up wasting your time. Anything with instanced gaming and no long quests could be a decent alternative as missions should be considerably shorter.

Whatever you are looking for you should weigh the pros and cons before you commit. You don't want to get into something and then possibly develop an addiction that causes problems with family or friends later on. Family and friends must come before gaming.

filmoret

You have to pick and choose what to do and when.  Watching the kids and knowing you don't have 20 minutes to concentrate fully you don't go into a raid or dungeon.  Do something you can just drop and walk away from in a second for any reason.  Otherwise you will find yourself angry because a party is depending on you and your family is also depending on you.  I usually just casual play or solo play most of the time because I have the same problems.  Which is why I don't raid lead in ESO or GW2.  I also don't lead guilds because they just take too much time.  Also have to be carefull if your wife see's gaming as a threat she will do anything to get you away from the computer.  Which is kinda lame but it happens.

Seelinnikoi

My idea about this is...

If if you are a serious gamer, do not get married.
If you really want to get married, for the love of Anubis, DO NOT MARRY A NON-GAMER person.
You will have all sort of problems like when you wanna enjoy that laid back double xp weekend and she wants to go out and shopping, or travel, etc... Or when she asks you something in the middle of a raid and tell you to "pause" the goddam mmo...

Seriously guys, it's not worth the hassle.

And don't even get me started with kids... Can you imagine the amount of money you could spend on a cash shop on an mmo, if you didn't have to feed another mouth or buy clothes for the baby?

And please don't call me selfish. It's merely a lifestyle choice based on owns loving hobby and ways to maximize the pleasure one gets from it.

MikePaladin

Completely  agree with  Blaze_Rocker  if your baby sitting give up on any hard core games WOW raiding and anything alike
gw2 in my exp is the way to go very casual with little penalties if you want wvw well most adult guilds will understand that you have to go in middle of big fight . In such guilds many members are over 25 30 40 and they already have 2 3 kids
About BDO I'm not sure I remember there was severe PK with drop loss so not sure if this is a casual game maybe they made some changes to this ..this was an quite old concept

rojoArcueid

I'll figure something out when that situation arrives.

danwest58

I have a 2 year old a 3 year old and a 14 year old.  I worked 50+ hours a week plus was taking 2 or 3 classes even when I had newborns.  I still managed to play somewhere about 5 to 10 hours a week.  You know how I did it?  When I had a few hours here or there I played.  With todays MMOs its hard not to be able to play with how solo centric these games are and how they cater to people who have a little time to play.  It's also why MMOs have become so poor.  Instead of looking at an MMO as a journey that might take you 2 years to get to the end goal we have to get to the end goal in 2 weeks.  This is why so many people who play MMOs today cannot find time to keep up is because its a race on a treadmill.

Honestly until MMOs find a middle ground between todays catering to everyone vs yesterdays MMOs which catered to people with no lives.  Vanilla WOW and TBC hit the right spot with the balance.  The problem is people the ended up having kids and no time for a few months complained to no end vs just picking up where they left off.  

Its really not hard to play MMOs with having a Family.  You just need Time Management Skills, if you dont have that then there is nothing anyone can do.  

How do I do it?  At 730 most nights my 2 and 3 year old are in bed.  If I dont have work pressing me with stuff I will find time to play.  My wife plays too so that helps BUT we also have scheduled her and I days.  Which helps with the relationship.  We do a lot of planning our week out or weeks out so we can do things we love to do.  And yes I plan my life around a game, just like I would if I was still playing Hockey today, or was working out at a gym.  Hell I plan a few days out of a block of 2 or 3 weeks to take the kids out for a bike ride.  

Time Management the end.  

Octagon7711

I've found GW2 and Marvel Heroes really good for going on and playing for short periods of time.  With GW2 timer you can even time the world boss or a few mins. at a time for some dynamic events.  Both have easy inventory management so no long time sorting out your stuff which means more just playing times.

Aethaeryn

Short bursts and random amounts of time means a game that you can pop in and out of.  Mostly single player.  I have been messing around with a few MMOs.. SWTOR is pretty friendly to having a 2.5 year old.  LOTRO is okay as well.  I tried WoW again and even considered buying BDO but I know I won't play them.  Waiting for Star Citizen or something similar.  Eve can be okay because you can play it while you do work on a second monitor etc.

filmoret

Just do what he says at 16 seconds.

simsalabim77

Seven months was pretty easy. He slept a lot, and on weekends I was able to squeeze in some good gaming time. He's three now, and requires a tremendous amount of attention and interaction, so I get far less time to play games. I don't really miss spending hours on end playing video games. Toddlers are infinitely more entertaining and hilarious. I usually take an hour or so after dinner to do whatever I want, and longer on the weekends. 

miguelsvx

Do what you want

Kyleran

Sleep is for the weak! You really can live on 4 to 5 hours a night.

Back in the day I played from 10 to midnight or 1:00 am after the family went to bed.

I am Phenomenal

Asm0deus

After you make it through the newborn sleepless nights you get use to operating on little sleep...so I play later evenings and at night.

Moirae

I work full time, and have been happily married 9 years (17 years total, plus alot of drama in both our lives over those 17 years). We don't have kids and likely never will. I work, come home, and usually eat dinner and spend a couple hours with my husband, then play games for a brain break for a few hours.  And I play on the weekend, after chores and a bit of time with the husband.

I'll be honest, you are early in your relationship yet, plus you have a very young baby. Things will change. It just takes time. 

The blush of first love where you want to spend every waking moment you can together, that changes. I still love my husband more than anything in the world. I left my country and everyone I love most in the world to be with him. But the blush of first love is gone. It never lasts. I still smile involuntarily when I look at him. We still date and hold hands. And we can still have long conversations into the night even forgoing sleep to do so. But that rush? The excitement of just touching each other? It fades. Things change. 

It will change for you too, especially with the little one. As the baby gets older and more able to take care of himself (according to my sister at least), it will get easier. And you will know that you will have the one person you chose to count on most in the world to share it all with. Your best friend, and your greatest love. If you are willing. 

rodingo

A lot of it depends on your MMO play style and how much you are willing to adapt.  If you are a raider then I don't have a good answer for you.  But if you are someone like me who mainly PVPs or does solo stuff for end game then the addition of Kids into your game time isn't to bad. 

The key thing to remember is to know that your kids and family come first.  Those who have kids will/should understand that and maybe some who don't have kids don't or can't understand that.

Overall though, there are a lot of factors to consider once you have kids and want to still play games.  Such as does your spouse allow you to peel off somewhere for "me" time, specially when your kid is hungry, needs to be changed, watched, etc..  Is she willing to do that to accommodate you?  If not, then you might have to do what a lot of us do and that is just play after everyone goes to bed.  However, that may or may not put strain on your marriage depending on how finicky your wife is about you not going to sleep when she does. 

Basically just test the waters a little at a time and see what you can get away with ( or your spouse allows).  Having kids simply forces you and your spouse to compromise and only you and her will be able to figure out how to keep your hobby going.  Good luck.

Amathe

The average American watches 5 hours of television per day.

So just watch less tv. 

Kyleran

Amathe said:

The average American watches 5 hours of television per day.

So just watch less tv. 

I watch next to none