I'm a night owl, that helps. I get from about 9pm-2am to play. Also, I've been lucky in that I've found guilds with others like me. It was nothing to stop in the middle of a group dungeon or even raid when a cry of "CHAGGRO" went up (Child Aggro). The rest of us would go get coffee, smoke, talk amongst ourselves etc. Point being, you're not alone in this, find others that have the same issues and it works out.
I haven't posted on these forums in a long time but purchasing a gaming laptop for the first time in my life made me check this site that I hadn't checked in months?
I am married (3 years now and I have a 7 month-old boy). My work schedule would seem to be ideal for gaming as I work 14 days on with 24/7 call and then I am off for 14 days with absolutely zero commitments. My wife likes to work during the day from home especially when I am off work, so someone has to watch the kid.
But I can't find time to play at all. How do you guys balance it with wife and kids? Does your spouse give you 2-3 hours a night interruption free? Am I in a fantasy world?
My most recent MMO is Project Entropia but since I've been back on this site, BDO looks decent, but I can't even see myself purchasing any game because there's no time. Project Entropia is a game where there's no pressure to progress as it is a sandbox . . . and slot machine basically.
So how do you guys do it?
Sincerely,
Cryomatrix
Honestly your married with kids so your life is basically over. No sugar coating here; it is what it is. You can't be a real gamer in your situation and be a good father and husband.
Honestly your married with kids so your life is basically over. No sugar coating here; it is what it is. You can't be a real gamer in your situation and be a good father and husband.
yeh. You can find a thousand ways to squeeze a little more gaming time. But it is not about that. It is about priority. Married with kids essentially put gaming in a low low priority. If my kid needs to see the doctor, i am dropping whatever I am doing. Heck, if my wife wants to talk, i probably need to do the same.
Once you understand that, everything else is just marginal.
And oh .. i would much rather be a good father and husband than a good gamer. Entertainment is a dime a dozen. It is just not that sacred.
Oh, and anyone saying "just wait until the baby stage is over and you'll have more time"? BWAHAHAHAHA. HAHAHAHA. No. The baby stage is a cakewalk compared to the toddler years. Babies sleep a lot. They have limited needs (affection/attenton, food, sleep). And, if you're lucky like me, you'll have an extremely (EXTREMELY - as in runs circles around kids her age) high energy kid who gives up naps before she turns two years old and goes a full 14 hours a day. Toddlers require constant watching because they will be into -everything- and they will need more attention, instruction, affection, guidance and discipline.
Enjoy those easy baby days while you can.
AMEN to that! Mine's the same way and trying to keep her on a steady routine is like wrestling a greased pig. I miss the days when she'd just sleep and wake up, get a boobie, then go back to sleep. X)
Honestly your married with kids so your life is basically over. No sugar coating here; it is what it is. You can't be a real gamer in your situation and be a good father and husband.
yeh. You can find a thousand ways to squeeze a little more gaming time. But it is not about that. It is about priority. Married with kids essentially put gaming in a low low priority. If my kid needs to see the doctor, i am dropping whatever I am doing. Heck, if my wife wants to talk, i probably need to do the same.
Once you understand that, everything else is just marginal.
And oh .. i would much rather be a good father and husband than a good gamer. Entertainment is a dime a dozen. It is just not that sacred.
I do treasure my daughter over gaming, but
this thread is really about how to have a hobby (it could be anything
else) and maintain a family at the same time. Anyone with any sense
values their kids over entertainment.
Sorry, a bit defensive. But I've been raked over the coals for even mentioning video games and having kids together in the same paragraph. Nobody bats an eyelash when it's macrame, but video games, WHOA. Time to grow up eh!
Ahem, back in the day you had to do stuff like 8 hour raids. So not sure that even three wives and ten kids would stop you doing todays casual play easyMMOs.
For me the key is having a wife/GF that is either a gamer herself or she lets you game in peace.....The time issue can be adjusted and you sometimes have to go with more time friendly games, but if your significant other doesnt game its going to suck.
I haven't posted on these forums in a long time but purchasing a gaming laptop for the first time in my life made me check this site that I hadn't checked in months?
I am married (3 years now and I have a 7 month-old boy). My work schedule would seem to be ideal for gaming as I work 14 days on with 24/7 call and then I am off for 14 days with absolutely zero commitments. My wife likes to work during the day from home especially when I am off work, so someone has to watch the kid.
But I can't find time to play at all. How do you guys balance it with wife and kids? Does your spouse give you 2-3 hours a night interruption free? Am I in a fantasy world?
My most recent MMO is Project Entropia but since I've been back on this site, BDO looks decent, but I can't even see myself purchasing any game because there's no time. Project Entropia is a game where there's no pressure to progress as it is a sandbox . . . and slot machine basically.
So how do you guys do it?
Sincerely,
Cryomatrix
I don't play much anymore but since I was on CST I always joined PST clan/guilds while I could not log in until the kids were in bed (about 9:30 PM ) that was 7:30 PST so I had folks to play the game with. But if you look on most forum games sites you will see guilds recruiting for us older gamers with kids. I found them to be the best since we all were in the same boat.
I'm a night owl, that helps. I get from about 9pm-2am to play. Also, I've been lucky in that I've found guilds with others like me. It was nothing to stop in the middle of a group dungeon or even raid when a cry of "CHAGGRO" went up (Child Aggro). The rest of us would go get coffee, smoke, talk amongst ourselves etc. Point being, you're not alone in this, find others that have the same issues and it works out.
This is an excellent point. If you are feeling like you can't play because of your wife and kids, it is probably because you are not yet paired up with people who understand and accommodate that situation.
EQ1, EQ2, SWG, SWTOR, GW, GW2 CoH, CoV, FFXI, WoW, CO, War,TSW and a slew of free trials and beta tests
So I finished my 14 days in a row with 24/7 call and I ended up taking care of the baby all day, the day after i finished my work. So I decided to stay up late to get a little me-time. I stayed up about 2 hours past my bed time.
I played Project Entropia for about 30 minutes and then I downloaded Mortal Online and then fell asleep on the couch. I woke up the next morning and when I went to my wife who was still sleeping in bed.
She says,
"We need to talk about your video gaming"
I play Boom Beach frequently but a real video game is scarce and it is the first time in a long time that i've actually played . . . we will ignore the fact that my wife took 2 hours to herself and left the house last night.
Oh well. I need to find ways to work on my hobby while taking care of the kid. Right now he is playing with something on a high chair while I type this comment. If this continues, I am just going to work 3 weeks straight and get only 1 week off. I already grabbed an extra 48 hours of work per month, I will just do more.
If I can't enjoy life when I am off, I may as well work like a dog so at least I don't feel anxious about money all the time.
Thanks. Sincerely,
Cryomatrix
Catch me streaming at twitch.tv/cryomatrix You can see my sci-fi/WW2 book recommendations.
Honestly your married with kids so your life is basically over. No sugar coating here; it is what it is. You can't be a real gamer in your situation and be a good father and husband.
yeh. You can find a thousand ways to squeeze a little more gaming time. But it is not about that. It is about priority. Married with kids essentially put gaming in a low low priority. If my kid needs to see the doctor, i am dropping whatever I am doing. Heck, if my wife wants to talk, i probably need to do the same.
Once you understand that, everything else is just marginal.
And oh .. i would much rather be a good father and husband than a good gamer. Entertainment is a dime a dozen. It is just not that sacred.
I do treasure my daughter over gaming, but
this thread is really about how to have a hobby (it could be anything
else) and maintain a family at the same time. Anyone with any sense
values their kids over entertainment.
Sorry, a bit defensive. But I've been raked over the coals for even mentioning video games and having kids together in the same paragraph. Nobody bats an eyelash when it's macrame, but video games, WHOA. Time to grow up eh!
If you treasure your daughter over gaming, you need to choose her OVER gaming. If you get both, what is the point of treasuring one over the other?
The simple answer is that hobby is a filler that takes second priority to your life (or third/fourth depending on how you are viewing your career, and other stuff). Certainly I am not saying you have to get rid of gaming.
I am just saying ... choose the gaming option that put your daughter life first. If that requires giving up committed 3 hour session, that means giving up committed 3 hour sessions. That is what treasuring one thing over the other means ... hard choices. You can always find the games that you can play for 15 min, and those you can stop at any time.
Right now, I won't play anything that I cannot stop in 5 min, because that is what my wife happy. And that is more important than some games. If that means that i lose the rift in D3 .. so be it. There are always more rifts I can do. It is just a game.
It is not even about the amount of time (although that matters too). It is about your attitude and priorities. If you put your kids to bed early just to game, that is putting your need to game over their needs (assuming that is not their normal, optimal bed-time).
Honestly your married with kids so your life is basically over. No sugar coating here; it is what it is. You can't be a real gamer in your situation and be a good father and husband.
This is crazy you can be a good Dad and Husband as well as a good gamer. If you don't make time for yourself as a gamer you won't be a good dad or husband because you will be bitter that you cant game once a gamer always a gamer and a real partner will understand that . Balance in all things that makes a person truly grate .
Lol 2-3 hours per night, that's living at parents with a job time.
I get an hour per night about half the week, all my game time happens in the mornings on the weekend.
But occasionally I'll get a nice six hour chunk, once or twice a month.
Casual scum
Good parenting, though. Watch that popular youtube series, The Guild - and you'll get some laughs in regard to one of the female players who has 2 toddlers behind a toddler gate and a baby on her lap during raid time.
Oh, and anyone saying "just wait until the baby stage is over and you'll have more time"? BWAHAHAHAHA. HAHAHAHA. No. The baby stage is a cakewalk compared to the toddler years. Babies sleep a lot. They have limited needs (affection/attenton, food, sleep). And, if you're lucky like me, you'll have an extremely (EXTREMELY - as in runs circles around kids her age) high energy kid who gives up naps before she turns two years old and goes a full 14 hours a day. Toddlers require constant watching because they will be into -everything- and they will need more attention, instruction, affection, guidance and discipline.
Enjoy those easy baby days while you can.
That's not necessarily true. My baby has Colic, which means she cries none stop for many many hours EVERY day. I can almost count how many times she's taken a nap on one hand since I got her(3months). Babies are very different, and if I get less sleep and free time than I have now I'll...yeah I don't know, we're at our breaking point and our only hope is that it gets easier, it has to.
So I finished my 14 days in a row with 24/7 call and I ended up taking care of the baby all day, the day after i finished my work. So I decided to stay up late to get a little me-time. I stayed up about 2 hours past my bed time.
I played Project Entropia for about 30 minutes and then I downloaded Mortal Online and then fell asleep on the couch. I woke up the next morning and when I went to my wife who was still sleeping in bed.
She says,
"We need to talk about your video gaming"
I play Boom Beach frequently but a real video game is scarce and it is the first time in a long time that i've actually played . . . we will ignore the fact that my wife took 2 hours to herself and left the house last night.
Oh well. I need to find ways to work on my hobby while taking care of the kid. Right now he is playing with something on a high chair while I type this comment. If this continues, I am just going to work 3 weeks straight and get only 1 week off. I already grabbed an extra 48 hours of work per month, I will just do more.
If I can't enjoy life when I am off, I may as well work like a dog so at least I don't feel anxious about money all the time.
Thanks. Sincerely,
Cryomatrix
Have you thought of training the kid to do some MMO grinding? They love games and you can tell your wife it has become a quality time educational pastime. Just a thought.
I have two kids, a 8 yr old and a 2 yr old. Me and my wife both work full time. There is no time to really invest into an MMO type of game but we do play. We have a schedule of which days I'm in charge of the kids and which days she is so there are a few days of the week where I am almost guaranteed to have the night to myself or the I know I have all of Saturday morning to do whatever I want.
You should REALY setup a schedule with your spouse so you know when you have days off and not, its essential to your sanity
Honestly your married with kids so your life is basically over. No sugar coating here; it is what it is. You can't be a real gamer in your situation and be a good father and husband.
This is crazy you can be a good Dad and Husband as well as a good gamer. If you don't make time for yourself as a gamer you won't be a good dad or husband because you will be bitter that you cant game once a gamer always a gamer and a real partner will understand that . Balance in all things that makes a person truly grate .
If you are bitter to give up gaming to be a dad & husband, as opposed to have natural joy because of it .. you are not a good dad & husband anyway.
It cannot be forced .. you just have to place your family above gaming.
Reading some of these posts, I am always amazed at what a negative opinion so many mmorpg players have of the lives their fellow gamers are believed to lead outside the game.
EQ1, EQ2, SWG, SWTOR, GW, GW2 CoH, CoV, FFXI, WoW, CO, War,TSW and a slew of free trials and beta tests
I can only tell from my point of view. First off, get a decent wife, im married close to 10 years now, got 3 kids and play when i want, usually several hours a day. Remember your supposed to be a parent, not a damn toy to your children. They got friends to play with or when they are really young, they spend most their time with their mother. I may not sound like a super dad, but well, im really not aiming to be that either. Im here to teach em about the world before they set out to it themself. My kids are 12, 5 and last one is 3 months. All with the same wife ^^ I work from 8-4 every weekday, but i usually play 3-5+ hours a day
Honestly your married with kids so your life is basically over. No sugar coating here; it is what it is. You can't be a real gamer in your situation and be a good father and husband.
This is crazy you can be a good Dad and Husband as well as a good gamer. If you don't make time for yourself as a gamer you won't be a good dad or husband because you will be bitter that you cant game once a gamer always a gamer and a real partner will understand that . Balance in all things that makes a person truly grate .
If you are bitter to give up gaming to be a dad & husband, as opposed to have natural joy because of it .. you are not a good dad & husband anyway.
It cannot be forced .. you just have to place your family above gaming.
While one must invest and "own" their responsibilities one doesn't have to give up their lives just because they have a family.
One just has to learn how to manage their life. You aren't going to be a good husband or father if you are a slave and have to deny who you are. This is said knowing that you do have to take your marriage and family seriously.
but I've never met a couple that was a good couple who basically gave up their lives. The best couples I know have a good balance with their family and themselves. It doesn't mean that they are cavorting at all hours of the night but they do have some "me" time.
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Comments
Once you understand that, everything else is just marginal.
And oh .. i would much rather be a good father and husband than a good gamer. Entertainment is a dime a dozen. It is just not that sacred.
AMEN to that! Mine's the same way and trying to keep her on a steady routine is like wrestling a greased pig. I miss the days when she'd just sleep and wake up, get a boobie, then go back to sleep. X)
I do treasure my daughter over gaming, but this thread is really about how to have a hobby (it could be anything else) and maintain a family at the same time. Anyone with any sense values their kids over entertainment.
Sorry, a bit defensive. But I've been raked over the coals for even mentioning video games and having kids together in the same paragraph. Nobody bats an eyelash when it's macrame, but video games, WHOA. Time to grow up eh!
This isn't a signature, you just think it is.
EQ1, EQ2, SWG, SWTOR, GW, GW2 CoH, CoV, FFXI, WoW, CO, War,TSW and a slew of free trials and beta tests
So I finished my 14 days in a row with 24/7 call and I ended up taking care of the baby all day, the day after i finished my work. So I decided to stay up late to get a little me-time. I stayed up about 2 hours past my bed time.
I played Project Entropia for about 30 minutes and then I downloaded Mortal Online and then fell asleep on the couch. I woke up the next morning and when I went to my wife who was still sleeping in bed.
She says,
"We need to talk about your video gaming"
I play Boom Beach frequently but a real video game is scarce and it is the first time in a long time that i've actually played . . . we will ignore the fact that my wife took 2 hours to herself and left the house last night.
Oh well. I need to find ways to work on my hobby while taking care of the kid. Right now he is playing with something on a high chair while I type this comment. If this continues, I am just going to work 3 weeks straight and get only 1 week off. I already grabbed an extra 48 hours of work per month, I will just do more.
If I can't enjoy life when I am off, I may as well work like a dog so at least I don't feel anxious about money all the time.
Thanks. Sincerely,
Cryomatrix
You can see my sci-fi/WW2 book recommendations.
The simple answer is that hobby is a filler that takes second priority to your life (or third/fourth depending on how you are viewing your career, and other stuff). Certainly I am not saying you have to get rid of gaming.
I am just saying ... choose the gaming option that put your daughter life first. If that requires giving up committed 3 hour session, that means giving up committed 3 hour sessions. That is what treasuring one thing over the other means ... hard choices. You can always find the games that you can play for 15 min, and those you can stop at any time.
Right now, I won't play anything that I cannot stop in 5 min, because that is what my wife happy. And that is more important than some games. If that means that i lose the rift in D3 .. so be it. There are always more rifts I can do. It is just a game.
It is not even about the amount of time (although that matters too). It is about your attitude and priorities. If you put your kids to bed early just to game, that is putting your need to game over their needs (assuming that is not their normal, optimal bed-time).
Have you thought of training the kid to do some MMO grinding? They love games and you can tell your wife it has become a quality time educational pastime. Just a thought.
I have two kids, a 8 yr old and a 2 yr old. Me and my wife both work full time. There is no time to really invest into an MMO type of game but we do play. We have a schedule of which days I'm in charge of the kids and which days she is so there are a few days of the week where I am almost guaranteed to have the night to myself or the I know I have all of Saturday morning to do whatever I want.
You should REALY setup a schedule with your spouse so you know when you have days off and not, its essential to your sanity
http://baronsofthegalaxy.com/ An MMO game I created, solo. It's live now and absolutely free to play!
It cannot be forced .. you just have to place your family above gaming.
EQ1, EQ2, SWG, SWTOR, GW, GW2 CoH, CoV, FFXI, WoW, CO, War,TSW and a slew of free trials and beta tests
I work from 8-4 every weekday, but i usually play 3-5+ hours a day
One just has to learn how to manage their life. You aren't going to be a good husband or father if you are a slave and have to deny who you are. This is said knowing that you do have to take your marriage and family seriously.
but I've never met a couple that was a good couple who basically gave up their lives. The best couples I know have a good balance with their family and themselves. It doesn't mean that they are cavorting at all hours of the night but they do have some "me" time.
Godfred's Tomb Trailer: https://youtu.be/-nsXGddj_4w
Original Skyrim: https://www.nexusmods.com/skyrim/mods/109547
Serph toze kindly has started a walk-through. https://youtu.be/UIelCK-lldo