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Online girlfriends, online marriages
Badhawk
Member Posts: 203
why even allow online marriages to take place? It's a game, it's not healthy to get that attracted to pixels.
How could one choose computer generated eyes made of pixels, over real eyes of a living, breathing human being? I must be missing something here.
Comments
People roleplay.
If you dont like dating in game, great! happy for you... dont know why your on a rampage to get it taken out though? ... people are different then you, like different things, etc.
Not that I partake in any of that, but yes you are missing something. These things rarely, if ever have to do with the visual representation of the characters any more than IRL marriages have to do with how people look. (Of course there are exceptions in THAT case but its usually a lot more complex than just that) It's usually Role Players who are getting married in game, and thus its an IC (In Character) thing, kind of like how you see characters in movies getting married, but the actors aren't even remotely romantically involved IRL. For others, its a way of bonding what they feel is an IRL relationship, kind of a way to signify it in game. Believe it or not some people /do/ find their loves on these games, it does seem odd at first glance, but really, is it? It's no odd than meeting your love at any other type of social gathering, such as a bar etc.
Thats what these games are in many cases, a social medium. Though a bit of a contradiction as such because they kind of counter that and encourage anti-social behavior (From the outside world) but, within the virtual world they are often very socially encouraging.
Some people take it further than just roleplaying, and that's where it's wrong.
1. People Roleplay.
2. Some people actually have married or became a couple in real life, through MMORPGs.
I concur with this entire statement.
KillerTwinkie - That one guy who used to mod mmorpg.com's forums.
If you think meeting people in a game somehow invalidates the prospect of a relationship, you need to check yourself.
Meeting people in a noisy, smoky bar where you put on an act in order to get laid is no more or less valid a way to form a relationship than an MMO.
Getting married online, in game.... is just roleplaying. If its not... who cares....
Surely your life is not so empty that you need to have a view on what others do in the persuit of love ? What does a "thought police" uniform look like exactly anyway ?
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"MMOs, for people that like think chatting is like a skill or something, rotflol"
http://purepwnage.com
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"Far away across the field, the tolling of the iron bell, calls the faithful to their knees. To hear the softly spoken magic spell" Pink Floyd-Dark Side of the Moon
I don't mean people who actually meet each other in real life, even after they meet online. I mean the ones who take their online girlfriend seriously, a person who they've never met, suddenly becomes their world and life. The fact is that they may or may not be like that in real life. You don't know that person, you know their e-persona. I'm not talking about roleplayers or people who have a genuine effort to actually meet each other.
And people discover that the beautiful female coed they have been fantasizing about turns out to actually be a fat old bald guy who plays MMOs in his underwear.
Forming relationships with people online prior to meeting them in person is delusional.
"We feel gold selling and websites that promote it damage games like Vanguard and will do everything possible to combat it."
Brad McQuaid
Chairman & CEO, Sigil Games Online, Inc.
Executive Producer, Vanguard: Saga of Heroes
www.vanguardsoh
I have been through this several times so here's alittle first hand experience.
In game you get around people. Get to know them and become friends. Just like RL. Things progress, you end up on yahoo BSing about in game things, how to do this and that, and after awhile the friendship grows. Now depending on the person and feelings, just like in a face to face situation emotions can become part of the picture. It happens. I've dated three people over 5 years I've met in games. And I have met them face to face. Even moved in with one a few states away and had a very long relationship.
Is it wrong? Why would it be? Be it a virtual world or real life bar, the purpose is for interaction and enjoyment. And what better common ground is there between two people then a hobby or a past time you both enjoy? All I can say is welcome to the 21st Century. Where you don't have to go to smoke filled bars and packed clubs just to find someone. And given they are in games, you get to know their personality long before the superficial ideal of looks come into play.
Just my two cents.
If memory serves [and I am probably DEAD wrong], but didn't Kunou and his wife meet in EQlive? There is nothing wrong with it. I mean, what is worse, meeting someone in a bar at 1:30 in the morning, or meeting someone online. Well, this is not really a fair question. I personally would not perfer the latter. Knowing the conservative, though, this kind of marriage will be banned in the next 3 years.
"Whoever controls the media controls the mind..-'Jim Morrison"
"When decorum is repression, the only dignity free men have is to speak out." ~Abbie Hoffman
I have no problems with making friends online. I have tons of friends who are good friends. One of them recently was killed in a car accident, and it felt like a huge loss, just like a loss of one of my real world friends.
I am not a shallow person and not under the delusion that looks are everything, but theres something about staring into a real life, living breathing female and telling her you love her, over staring into cold, pixelated, computer generated eyes and typing I love you.
I met a girl in UO that I went out with in RL for over a year.
There was nothing "wrong" or "sick" about it. She did not turn out to be an old bald guy. The person she was in RL was even better than the personality I became attracted to in UO.
Try to extend your imagination and willingness to accept alternative experiences beyond your current tiny horizons and you too may enjoy the things some of us already have.
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"MMOs, for people that like think chatting is like a skill or something, rotflol"
http://purepwnage.com
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"Far away across the field, the tolling of the iron bell, calls the faithful to their knees. To hear the softly spoken magic spell" Pink Floyd-Dark Side of the Moon
You are such a cock weevil. Can you not move on from old and unfunny subjects?
Douchbag.
"Whoever controls the media controls the mind..-'Jim Morrison"
"When decorum is repression, the only dignity free men have is to speak out." ~Abbie Hoffman
Have never met? This is the most REDICULOUS statement ever. They HAVE met, thats all i really need to say. You even said yourself, you have an online friend who died and you were very botherd by it... how can you say this?!?! you have never met him! according to yourself. All you've seen is pixels in a chatbox. How can you care for him on a different level??!
In case you didnt pick up on my sarcasm, you were just owned via hypocrasy.
As someone stated earlier, MMORPGS are social mediums. People meet friends/soulmates online just like they can in a bar.
People dont stare into pixelated eyes, they talk to the person, get to know them. Believe it or not, your character is basically a representation of yourself.
While we are on subject of online relationships, I just had a friend who went to Canada last to meet a girl he had been talking to in Ventrilo and AIM for 2 months. He is a lonely guy. 22. He keeps to himself mostly. I am totally happy for him and her. She is blind so she does not have many opportunities to date and since he is shy, they kind of jumped on each other after they got to know each other. These relationships can work out and as long as nothing terrible happens [I.E. abuse, the bad stuff that happens to online friends who meet each other in person] I think it is a great way to start relationships.
"Whoever controls the media controls the mind..-'Jim Morrison"
"When decorum is repression, the only dignity free men have is to speak out." ~Abbie Hoffman
I have met both men and women through MMOs that I ended up meeting in RL either by simply being in the same place at the same time or traveling to meet them. I dont feel any different connection between those friends and the ones Ive made in my home town, actually we're probably closer because we share a similar addiction.
If a gamer addict meets someone who shares their addiction and they are mutaly attracted to each other and want to carry on a relationship who are you to say its wrong? Smacks of extreme arrogance to justify other peoples relationships simply by how they met.
_______________________________
We have nothing to fear but our own
goverment
_______________________________
So according to some of you, personality is what a real relationship is based on.
Then you won't mind dating a guy pretending to be a girl, which happens in MMOGs all the time. After all, isn't their personality the most important thing? Just overlook any physical trappings that might misguide you from your soul mate.
"We feel gold selling and websites that promote it damage games like Vanguard and will do everything possible to combat it."
Brad McQuaid
Chairman & CEO, Sigil Games Online, Inc.
Executive Producer, Vanguard: Saga of Heroes
www.vanguardsoh
_______________________________
We have nothing to fear but our own
goverment
_______________________________
The glass is half empty, eh?
Ever heard of phone calls? They occur daily in relationships. Can't say whether you have had one.
"Whoever controls the media controls the mind..-'Jim Morrison"
"When decorum is repression, the only dignity free men have is to speak out." ~Abbie Hoffman
The glass is half empty, eh?
Ever heard of phone calls? They occur daily in relationships. Can't say whether you have had one.
What do phone calls have to do with personality? Are you admitting that physical characteristics, such as verifying the opposite sex, are equally important ?
Once you have established that they are the anticipated sex, then your feelings, only based on their personality of course
, won't change if they turn out to be 50 years old and you are say 25 years old, right ?
I am merely pointing out that basing a relationship on what you are told on the internet, is pure folly, and that physical characteristics are equally important in a relationship.
"We feel gold selling and websites that promote it damage games like Vanguard and will do everything possible to combat it."
Brad McQuaid
Chairman & CEO, Sigil Games Online, Inc.
Executive Producer, Vanguard: Saga of Heroes
www.vanguardsoh
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"MMOs, for people that like think chatting is like a skill or something, rotflol"
http://purepwnage.com
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"Far away across the field, the tolling of the iron bell, calls the faithful to their knees. To hear the softly spoken magic spell" Pink Floyd-Dark Side of the Moon
So what if he is?
Does it matter? The internet is, and forever will be, a social medium. People meet people in social mediums. People date people in social mediums. Get over it.
I'm sure a lot of guys would be upset to find out that the girl they have been talking to, and met at a bar, is a pre-op trans-sexual. Its human nature. Just like you would be upset that the person you were dating online lied to you, and was really opposite sex of what they said they were.
[sarcasm]While were at it, lets ban all marriages altogethers. No, people are inherantly evil and will just lie. Lets just go back to arranged marrages...[/sarcasm] I honestly dont see what your argument is.
I, for one, know first hand what it is to meet your future mate for life through an online medium (such as an mmorpg). I met my wife now online over a year ago. And now we will be having our first kid who is due in mid-August. We are extremely happy together, having been living together now in the same house for the past 10 months.
I also met a lot of women through bar meetings, friends, the beach, and even church. Never did I have as much in common as with the woman I now sleep every night with. I couldn't be happier, and she says the exact same thing.
Meeting and getting to know someone very well online while playing together is somehow so much deeper and intimate then seeing the outside beauty first. Beauty is only skin deep and if two people are overwhelmed by only skin deep beauty and "lust", it often sometimes confuses things too much as I have a lot of experience there as well. When I met my wife in person, Oh was I shocked at her beauty. I was surprised. And already having a deep communication level and understanding together only helped us to both respect, appreciate, and cherish each other.
The internet is only a tool. And sometimes people can connect in the oddest of places, even with the blindfolds of an internet blocking your sight of the one you'll be with in your future. I wasn't looking. It happened slowly over time. Online friends. The talking got deeper slowly. Soon we starting playing only to talk and share thoughts or whatever together. A person can grow on you as much blindfolded as they can when you see their every physical feature. At that point when you got something good, physical attraction is only an added bonus, but really means nothing at that point.
For those of you knocking such a relationship or marriage... I highly suggest that you take a deep personal look inward to make sure you don't have the wrong priorities while looking ot potential mates. Again, beauty is only skin deep and should really only be icing on the cake. There is soooo much more that really is sooo much more important. Let's put it this way... Look at possible mates much like you do mmorpgs. If you only seek the prettiest, fanciest game graphics and refuse to even try a game with older graphics (for example)... you very well could let things that really don't matter block you from the "best game you've ever played". We should all know by now that great graphics don't neccessarily mean great fun.
All the best... Zaxx
*applauds Zaxtor99*
I know several people who have met online and ended up together in real life. Not just through MMORPGs. I also know many, many couples that play together, myself included. And yes, I have been married in a game.
In game marriage is no different to me than anything else online. People get caught up in livejournals, people get caught up in message boards, people get caught up in chat rooms. But, people also meet people that they really like and build various kinds of long-tern relationships with, from friendship right on up to love. It's not that big of a deal, and really, it's a lot safer than bar hopping.
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Two wrongs don't make a right, but three lefts do.