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Why are people becoming so mean?
reavo
Member Posts: 2,173
I was talking to my grandmother yesterday. We were talking about how things have changed from her era to ours. She said that people today are really quick to be mean. They're not as polite as they used to be. And don't have as much respect for other people like they did.
I wasn't alive to experience the era she is talking about, but I believe her. I'll tell you why.
Because I can tell a difference just from the time I was a kid and the kids nowadays. I know a lot of folks say that is the case with every generation. But why? Why is each one getting worse instead of better? And what kids these days see as no problem is just going to lead to each generation getting worse and worse unless it stops.
Take conversations on these boards for instance. How often have you noticed someone come along and just completely go off on some inconsiderate rant? Or spew cuss words left and right? Or just totally disrespect someone just because they disagree with them?
I know that the excuse of anonymity or immaturity are usually given. But even so, what would motivate a person to be like that instead of being nice? Seriously, even at my age, I hardly ever use a cuss word. Actually, I can't remember the last time I did. But I hear them nearly everywhere I go. Even in public places where people can hear other people talk. It's a lack of respect.
I'm just curious is all. Why is it happening? It seems like when you meet someone with manners and who shows respect towards others it's a rarity. And those are the people I remember the most in my life.
I'm sure there are a lot of reasons for a lot of people doing it. But what do you guys think is the main underlying cause? It's got to be stemming from something.
It really makes me sad though. I don't understand the anger and hostility.
I wasn't alive to experience the era she is talking about, but I believe her. I'll tell you why.
Because I can tell a difference just from the time I was a kid and the kids nowadays. I know a lot of folks say that is the case with every generation. But why? Why is each one getting worse instead of better? And what kids these days see as no problem is just going to lead to each generation getting worse and worse unless it stops.
Take conversations on these boards for instance. How often have you noticed someone come along and just completely go off on some inconsiderate rant? Or spew cuss words left and right? Or just totally disrespect someone just because they disagree with them?
I know that the excuse of anonymity or immaturity are usually given. But even so, what would motivate a person to be like that instead of being nice? Seriously, even at my age, I hardly ever use a cuss word. Actually, I can't remember the last time I did. But I hear them nearly everywhere I go. Even in public places where people can hear other people talk. It's a lack of respect.
I'm just curious is all. Why is it happening? It seems like when you meet someone with manners and who shows respect towards others it's a rarity. And those are the people I remember the most in my life.
I'm sure there are a lot of reasons for a lot of people doing it. But what do you guys think is the main underlying cause? It's got to be stemming from something.
It really makes me sad though. I don't understand the anger and hostility.
Comments
Yeah people were much nicer in your grandmothers time... They would be real polite while lynching blacks. If anything has changed, people act like themselves more around people then what was in the past.
You could say they were more "proper" back then, but far from nice or polite. If you did something they didn't like (like talking to some one outside of your race or just something they didn't think was right) then you probably had some problems with people shunning you or worse.
Also, I think people realized that eating from the fork on the left side and stuff like that just arn't worth it anymore. Just like some people believe we don't need religion anymore. I do agree people are ass shoes when it comes to respecting other people though. That has gone down the drain.
Yeah, there were some rednecks back then, but there are some now too. You can't define a whole era on one thing. They were also the era that changed all that, and ended the lynchings. But if you think it's different now, then you're ignoring the civil rights issues that are going on during our era.
I don't think it has anything to do with religion either. Most religions have caused just as many problems as they say they have solved. There are some peaceful religions that can claim to have promoted peace, but the big ones are far from that.
And there is something to be said for being "proper". There is a reason for manners. They're to show that you hold other people in high regard as a person. That's why diplomats use them. It's a show of civility.
Think about it. Before people had to come together to survive. They were more into their community because they relied on each other. Mothers were at home and got to know their neighbors instead of spending all day at work.
Nowadays most people don't even know their neighbors names. Especially in suburban areas.
People are more about pleasing just themselves and that's isolated us all. We spend our times at our seperate jobs, then in our cars and in our homes to sleep. We don't have a society that farms anymore. So people have become more self centered instead of community centered. Look at who people consider outstanding these days. It's whoever makes the most money. If you spend your time doing kind things you're considered a freak.
We need to get back to basics. How, I don't know. I don't think the popular religions are the answer either. Look at all the problems it's causing here in the states and around the world right now. Maybe a different religion such as Buddhism would work. But I don't see that happening. Especially when you have religions that tell you not to look outside of their own or you will burn eternally.
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I think if you teach a kid right and wrong from the beginning, it's not their natural tendency. So being themselves would then be to have respect and concern for others.
I think the fact that most parents aren't around to teach their kids these things as much as they used to be is part of the problem. They're too busy chasing the might dollar instead of raising their offspring.
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</OBAMA>
Professor Hubert Farnsworth - That question is less stupid but, you asked it in a profoundly stupid way.
To me, it's a way of life.
Not the majority of people are so mean. There are as much nice people as there are mean people. So, in a way, they balance each other out.
So basically, if there's a lot of anger, peace will eventually overcome it to balance it out. And if there's a lot of peace in the world, someone will eventually break out and anger will eventually balance it out.
Well, that's how I look at it. But, that's just me. (^_^)
This siggy is CGI that my cousin made in 4 hours.
Why do you think life is a pile of crap?
I think life is awesome. I think people can make it crap. Which is why I ask the question of why we choose to make it that way by the way we act towards others and ourselves.
Professor Hubert Farnsworth - That question is less stupid but, you asked it in a profoundly stupid way.
People have been complaining about how terrible the younger generation is for thousands of years, it's nothing new. Pretending that things were better in 'the good old days' just means you don't want to look at the facts about the time. I don't know how old your grandmother is (or what country she's in), but I'm sure I can find a lot of meanness in her day if you tell us when it was. For example, try testing the 'meanness quotient' of people 50 years ago if you were black (and not completely servile), gay, a woman who didn't just want to be a housewife, or some other 'off' group.
Well one reason why people are mean, is online their anonymous. There are no real consequences to your actions. In real life if you said things like some people say here you'd get face planted. I bet most of these trolls and flamers in real life would never talk this way to anyone because they would have real repurcusions to their actions.
Everyone is 9 feet tall and 400pounds online.
Exactly. That's why a lot of people who argue online, that can't think of anything to say, tend to "Say that in front of my face!"
Funny. (^_^)
This siggy is CGI that my cousin made in 4 hours.
Wanna know why?
Some people aren't willing to understand others.
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It all seems so stupid
It makes me want to give up
But why should I give up
When it all seems so stupid
Well, ladies and gentlemen, I for one beg to differ with almost all of you.
I myself am 33. So I wasn't around during the 50's, 60's and barely remember the early 70's, but I sure as heck remember the 80's and 90's and definitely not with a whole sunshine outlook.
When I was younger, you were taught to speak properly, to value anothers opinion (for better or worse) and to be polite. If you misbehaved, you got your whooping. One of the major problems with todays "children" and I use this term not just for the folks born after the mid 80's, but for all of those who ACT like children in need of a whoopin. Now parents aren't at home, parents don't spend time actually raising their children and today's adolescents are inculcated with pop culture. I have nothing againts pop culture, but even when I was a kid and with the introduction of VCR's and easily obtainable "mature" material such as horror movies and war movies and 'explicit lyrics" we didn't behave so rudely like todays ignorant youth. We were taught when its appropriate to curse (never really, its just a form/outlet for anger that CAN be better handled) and where it was appropriate to roughhouse and act like litlle punks, which is what playing after school was for.
Socialization of children starts on the playgrounds.. but how many schools nowadays have recess monitors? The adults who stepped in when you weren't playing well with others.. and corrected you, so that you knew it was wrong? Nowhere that I have seen.
How about the parents again? Both parents work and are too tired to have real talks with the kids anymore.. Not very many families even eat at the dining table anymore, plates or trays on their laps, slaves to the "idiot box".
No, I don't believe that ignorance is an excuse, so it ends up being US.... thats right.. .you and me, taking the tykes to task. Is it our job? No, it was the parents.. but they failed. If you are a parent, please don't get indignant, you know you want to smack the child who is 'acting out' upside his/her spoiled bottom.
But "polite' society now says you shouldn't discipline the kids.. I personally am calling BS on that. And don't get me started on single parents... I know a lot of them and they manage to handle the job and the raising of their kids quite well...
All I am really saying is:: Hold the brats responsible for their actions, blame the parents.. and all of us do our parts to teach which is better, being mean and lonely or being nice and getting along with your neighbor.
Sorry, rant off. Good luck and good gaming. Cheers!
Bringing Chaos to your locale.
If you do a little research I think you will find people today are far less educated than just a few years ago and especially a hundred years ago. Have you looked at some of the 19th century school books? Doubt most high school students today could pass the eigth grade tests of 1900.
Yeah, I know more are going to college than ever before but what do they learn? Besides how to party, drink, etc they learn how to fit into a pigeon hole they call a career. Very few anymore learn analytical thinking and reasoning.
There is far more propaganda around today than ever before. We are not so informed and enlightened as we sometimes like to think. We are being shaped not only by Governments, but by business. All they want are good little workers and consumers and we have become very good at that, thereby keeping their pockets full.
The attitude that "life is a pile of crap and, no matter what you do nothing's gonna change it" never helped anyone except maybe those who helped you come to that conclusion. Maybe that is why people are "meaner" today...they just don't care about themselves or others and have no restraint over their emotions or actions.
Fortunately there are some who still believe in civility, have not been blinded, and care about more than what's in it for them or their "rights".
Its all well and good to say that kids need a whooping, and i agree many out there need a bloody good hiding to sort them out, but this day and age you cant do that.
Disciplining your kids by smacking them can land you in jail. Stupid yes, but it happens.
I say it's bad parenting from the 80's and 90's. I'm not going to jump into this yet.
Oh yeah:
I'm in SC so.... I kinda got to agree with Sidebuster in one way. I mean I can spot a prejedous(sp person just by talking to them. I work at a friendly store and they don't "look" at you, your tagged as one. I'm talking about the older people.
-In memory of Laura "Taera" Genender. Passed away on Aug/13/08-
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RISING DRAGOON ~AION US ONLINE LEGION for Elyos
Wasnt so much the 80's as it is the 90's. You could still whack your kid in the 80's and get away with it, even in public.
Bad Parenting, dunno about that so much as law pertaining to physically disciplining your kids which is what they need now a days.
Things have definately changed, for the worse I might add.
I think the main reason, in the UK certainly, is because of an extreme overuse of 'human rights' laws. We can't give children a quick slap when they do something wrong anymore, why? Human rights. We can't slap around prisoners anymore, why? Human rights. We can't even hang an english flag out of our window for fear of being dubbed racist, why? Human rights.
Since the 60's we've been introducing rediculous law after rediculous law, it's getting to a stage where it's REALLY effecting the society we live in. Hippies and 'peace' lovers thought they were doing a good thing, unfortunately they were not aware of the untold damage they were bringing to future generations.
Kids are little bastards nowerdays, no two ways about it. As the OP said, I've noticed a massive difference in just the time since I myself was a kid (i'm only 23). They have absolutely no respect for anybody, the law is a laughing stock to them (as the law is unfortunately powerless to stop them, why? Human rights). If they go home and start smoking dope, their parents can do little more than say 'please don't' for fear of having their child taken away by social services and being arrested for being a child abuser. Kids are evil little bastards at heart, I should know, I was one! If they are given the opportunity to missbehave, THEY WILL! Unfortunately they are now given every opportunity under the sun, with almost no consequences.
I've recently moved to a nicer part of britain, however when I was living in north London, the kids were an absolute nightmare. An example was, how funny they found it when they burned down a 'Cancer Research charity shop'. Can you even begin to imagine the world of pain those children would have been entering if they had done a similar thing in the 1940's/50's?! They probably wouldn't have seen their thirteenth birthday. However now, they can easily get away with it. The very worst that could happen would be a short stint in a 'youth offenders' prison, which is basically a nursery for thugs. Why not throw the little shits into a real prison and have them gang raped daily by the 'hardened' criminals, surely if they're hard enough to burn down a charity shop, they're hard enough to take a beating from a man?
Sorry for the rant, but this is something I feel very strongly about. The kids of today are utterly out of control, and need to be put back in their place before all is lost.
Wasnt so much the 80's as it is the 90's. You could still whack your kid in the 80's and get away with it, even in public.
Bad Parenting, dunno about that so much as law pertaining to physically disciplining your kids which is what they need now a days.
People need to spank their kids. If they don't, they will control you. Besides, doctors spank us when we come out.
-In memory of Laura "Taera" Genender. Passed away on Aug/13/08-
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RISING DRAGOON ~AION US ONLINE LEGION for Elyos
I don't the lack of physical punishment nowadays is the problem. You have to learn kids why they shouldn't do it. Not "you shouldn't do it because then I hurt you". When the kids get away from the parents the problem will still be there. People that want to beat the kids, are the ones that want to take the easy road, get rid of responsibility and the ones that don't have the patience/will to teach them stuff properly. And I really don't think that parents that really love their kids would want/be able to beat their kids.
I don't think this problem with mean people is just exclusive for our generation. I think you had this in the old days too. But then it was all kept hush, hush. There is so much different between "old" days and now. Overall this world is better than it was in the "old" days. Although it has gone abit downhill the last few years. I don't think you can really say it was worse then, it is worse now, it was better then and so on. Because it's a different world and different people now.
But it's no way acceptable how many people behave now. I myself haven't had a really big problem with it. Ofcourse I have met assholes, I have seen assholes on these forums and so on. I myself have been raised to behave nicely, respect other people, be nice, polite, how I should eat, where my spoon goes, look people in the eyes when you greet them and all that. And I feel that I behave like I was raised. I think it comes down to how kids are raised. Kids with parents constantly on buisness trips, parents on drugs or parents that don't care, will make the kids raise themself. In many cases that isn't very lucky. Both parents working, kids left on their own, parents divorcing is all very common nowadays. That makes more kids growing up on their own. That is where the problem lies I believe.
Physical punishment is not the answer, it's a sign of weakness in the parent. I can't believe this primitive behavior is still acceptable. You guys never know, those kids you love to hate may be the ones who are being violently punished...and so they do things that they see their parents doing to them...being violent. It's pretty common knowledge that kids mimic their parents to a large degree. So if the parents are violent, they will be too. Yes physical punishment is violence. It's funny because people are sent to jail because they hit a woman for example....but if they hit their children... "Their good parents". So much hypocrisy.
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"When Saddam flew that plane into those buildings, I knew it was time to kick some Iranian ass!"
-cheer leading, flag waving American
Professor Hubert Farnsworth - That question is less stupid but, you asked it in a profoundly stupid way.