It's not bad to start a relationship on-line (either in a game or on MSN). But you should always keep in mind that the internet is a anonymous place, and ppl can pretend to be way different than how they actually are.
Samething happened to my brother. One of his girlfriends he met on MSN. Though they chatted for a while (a month or two), she ended up to be way different then he actually thought (yes, the pics she sent were real ...) IMO she was just a nutcase. Too bad it took him almost a year to figure that on
On a dating site, not a problem at all. I fully support it since thats where I met my wife. Random forums or in games, you just have to be a bit more careful. Trying to find someone in a MMO...thats your gamble;) I'd demand a videocall as soon as any mutual interest was found. NO WAY in hell I'd pursue anyone before I knew who they REALLY are and what they look like. You NEVER really know someone until you're face to face. For every success story you read about, there are probably tens of 1000s of horror stories. For some people it might be the only way, since a first glance might scare away most in a normal social setting. More power to ya.
Sounds cheesey but after I had a really bad relationship with a girl and she moved out of my house I went into a deep depression played WoW for a while (sad right?). While I was on wow I became friends with a girl and now that girl is my fiance, as in I gave her the ring while we was at St. Augustine beach florida and she said yes I couldnt be happier to have met someone online and get to know them so well. Note: When you first meet them in person, its like starting all over again. It really depends on how you go about dating online, I think one of the reasons me and my fiance have such a good relationship is that sex was the last thing that was on our mind. It's just nice to have company you know.
Sounds cheesey but after I had a really bad relationship with a girl and she moved out of my house I went into a deep depression played WoW for a while (sad right?). While I was on wow I became friends with a girl and now that girl is my fiance, as in I gave her the ring while we was at St. Augustine beach florida and she said yes I couldnt be happier to have met someone online and get to know them so well. Note: When you first meet them in person, its like starting all over again. It really depends on how you go about dating online, I think one of the reasons me and my fiance have such a good relationship is that sex was the last thing that was on our mind. It's just nice to have company you know.
Not cheesy at all, when fate strikes you just have to roll along with it. And congrats!
It's a Jeep thing. . . _______ |___| \_______/ = |||||| = |X| \*........*/ |X| |X|_________|X| You wouldn't understand
I came into this thread thinking no, that it isn't a good idea to start a relationship online. However these posts have given me a new perspective. I guess it doesn't matter if you met online, it's how you proceed from there that's important.
Pear of wisdom right there. I don't think it's any different then going on a blind date. If you've met said person because of common interests who's to say it's right or wrong. You could meet that person anywhere be it online or mountain climbing on a solid granite face swinging from ropes and climbing gear. I'd at least see where it goes. Who knows it might be interesting or it might not. Without risk there is no reward.
No required quests! And if I decide I want to be an assassin-cartographer-dancer-pastry chef who lives only to stalk and kill interior decorators, then that's who I want to be, even if it takes me four years to max all the skills and everyone else thinks I'm freaking nuts. -Madimorga-
99% of the time, the person whom you think you are involved with, is not the way they are in real life as they are on the game. There are a lot of people who game to escape real life. It doesn't bother them in the least if they string you along. Most have them have been done like that in real life, due to having some sort of issue, i.e. fat, ugly, geek, etc., and they justify acting like an arsehole, to themselves, because things like that have happened to them.
in reality, the relationships we have with other people are the only thing we really have in this world that really means anything. Any avenue that lets us connect to those around us is a good thing, even if some people might use that avenue for maliciously. It isn't the mediums fault that people are so messed up.
It is this principle that makes MMO's worth playing, as the gameplay is usually very gimped due to latency restrictions.
Now, to what degree the relationship should evolve, well thats just requires a bit of common sense. If you can't physically see the person., then you really shouldn't pursue anything beyond that of friends. We've all heard stories about some poor smuch how got his head into a "game chick" only to find out its a dude.
Frankly, if that happens to you, yer just asking for it.
Frank 'Spankybus' Mignone www.spankybus.com -3d Artist & Compositor -Writer -Professional Amature
The only problem is that when you meet your mind doesn't connect the person you talk to online with the person you see in front of you. So its a little weird knowing a person you don't really know.
Sent me an email if you want me to mail you some pizza rolls.
just because it worked for me, doesn't mean it will work for everyone as people are indicating. it does take a lot of work, a lot more trust, and probably a good bit of luck.
I think the community in the games has gotten more malicious over the years of MMO's so it may not be "as easy" or "as safe" however you want to put it. I wouldn't tell anyone NOT to get into a relationship with someone they met in game, its just a common interest to start a friendship from and see what happens from that point on. Just as most things, its more "dangerous" and caution should be taken with every step.
If someone is married, then it is bad mojo to play act a marriage on line, imo. There is nothing wrong with friendships... As mentioned, may female toons are played by males and that should be considered before *developing* a relatoinship...
Starting a friendship no, Starting a personal open and honest relationship can be very dangerous. You need to be cairful who you can trust online. Even if some one seems to be a trust worthy person you just dont know these days scammers go to big strides to win your trust. I would not risk it if I were you. Just date in real life get to know the persons frineds and family in real life. I am currently working on a field experience class for my Bachelors in psychology, one of the biggest things I see when it comes to online dating is people usually end up with a broken heart because they took the relationship to serious over a computer. Freinds is ok, but beyond that I don't belive it is healthy.
You can say the same thing about meeting someone in real life. Cause to be honest you don't really know that person you just met at a bar, mall, school, etc It's about getting to know them and about trust and being careful. You also can get a broken heart no matter how you meet that person.
No probs with it at all, I met my other half in an online game.
The nice thing about it is you talk so much through msn or in game that looks dont really matter at all anymore, mind you she does look good though
5 Years further now and we have our 1st son together and doing great, and indeed as said before i can always toss on a game as we both love gaming.
I guess you still have to becareful out there though coz indeed everyone can pretend to be someone they are not but that can also happen in a pub, bar etc. It can be tough at 1st but if you both go for it then nice things can come out of it and distance is just a small obstacle.
If someone is married, then it is bad mojo to play act a marriage on line, imo. There is nothing wrong with friendships... As mentioned, may female toons are played by males and that should be considered before *developing* a relatoinship...
I think that is why alot of people like having voice chat in game now......While I am not a fan of it myself at least you know wehther someone is male or female......Funny thing is when other players learn that someone playing that female cleric really is a female they treat her totally differently.......There was also a female wizard we had in our guild and many of the male players were always hitting on her, I felt kinda sorry for her and eventually she left.
This will be one of two part poll. This is the first part...ok.
IMO Teala, it's only ok if you both have no limitations in seeing each other at any time. Online relationships have all the same qualities of a normal relationship, just delivered over a different medium. You'll find the same amount of bad and good whether online or in person. The idea that there's just a bunch of dishonest weirdos online is an urban myth obviously created by someone that hasn't dated in the real world much. (I've had better luck online personally lol)
I've been in several online relationships where a couple worked out well for years, and others that fell apart due to distance alone. The only reason I see an online relationship failing for a different reason then a normal relationship would is a limitation in being together. Relationships need a physical connection at some point regardless of someone's beliefs, so they will always fall apart eventually if it's difficult or impossible for you to have that.
Done that twice now and to be honest I think they were doomed to failure. As the relationships tend to operate over a distance they tend to have a very limited lifespan.
I used to visit this site a lot however in recent years it has become the home of negative forum posts, illogical opinions and tantrums so I visit less often.
Played or Beta'd: UO / DAOC / Horizons / EQ2 / DDO / EVE / Archlord / PirateKingsOnline / Tabula Rasa / LOTRO / AOC / Champions / Darkfall / Mortal Online / DCUO / Rift / STO / SWTOR / TSW
I guess it can be ok, I think girls have to be really carefull, more so than guys.
But i still think it is much better to meet poeple in RL, personaly i think poeple who can only meet and flirt with the other sex online has some social difficulties or maybe just confidense issues... or they just dont get out enuff =P
In that case i guss if you have no chance of ever meeting somone in RL maybe its not such a bad thing to meet a love online and spend the rest of your life with them?
What ever makes poeple happy, but i think meeting girls out at bars clubs, through friends or anyware is part of the fun of life! and f&$king them two =P
Sure it's a great idea. I would totally like to start a relationship with you OP. It will be awesome.
LOL
Seriously though, how could online be any worse than meeting in some crappy bar, hammered off of shitty, dollar night beers?
Uh......because no matter how hammered you are, you still have an "idea" what they look like. It is true that you may want to punch yourself in the face in the morning, but you only have yourself to blame. You can always think of a brilliant excuse, bail out and never see them again.
I can just sense the awkwardness, after you meet your hot date from the raid the other night, she turns out to be a beast, then you have to /quitguild on Monday.
I fail to see the difference here. It's just as easy for people to lie to your face as it is for them to lie through the internet. Sure, in person you can see what they look like, but it still might take a month of knowing them before you find out they're completely fucking insane.
Nothing wrong with it but like others said, you just got to be carefull. I met someone in my linkshell when i used to play FFXI. She was awesome, I guess we were in a sense a perfect match.
After a long time, of just talking ALOTTTTTTTT. It went to shit, i knew she was with someone. But he was piece of crap... that beat the crap out of her, and her kid. But she just couldn't be a WOMAN and leave him. Cause she wanted her kid to have her biological father in her life, at the cost of getting beaten up and being unhappy. I couldn't take it anymore.... so i moved on.
Fricken women, are nuts... reminds me.. i need to go saw that wife beating piece of crap in half with a chainsaw.
Definitely not. For both myself, and a few friends of mine, our most meaningful relationships started online before shifting off of the net And at least for some people, it's the only way they have to meet other people and socialize.
As my mom says, it's fairly reminicsent of corspondence courting, and that worked out for people for a couple centuries...
I would say that meeting a person online and getting involved with them is as invariably complex as it is doing so offline. However, for guys, meeting a girl online is more unlikely, because girls will never know the harsh stigmas of dating that guys do.
My blog is a continuing story of what MMO's should be like.
Is it bad..? What if you had no choice? A real life relationship for some is fatal. It's between an online relationship and a hospital bed. It is really the only choice I can make. Even the online relationship is double sided but a real life relationship isn't even possible because the human body can only withstand so much. Online relationships are kind of nice though because..well because I can have one and it is mostly pain-free.
Comments
It's not bad to start a relationship on-line (either in a game or on MSN). But you should always keep in mind that the internet is a anonymous place, and ppl can pretend to be way different than how they actually are.
Samething happened to my brother. One of his girlfriends he met on MSN. Though they chatted for a while (a month or two), she ended up to be way different then he actually thought (yes, the pics she sent were real ...) IMO she was just a nutcase. Too bad it took him almost a year to figure that on
G.I.R.L Online = Guy In Real Life
Seriously though, there is nothing wrong with starting a relationship online. I actually know two couples who are not married that met online.
On a dating site, not a problem at all. I fully support it since thats where I met my wife. Random forums or in games, you just have to be a bit more careful. Trying to find someone in a MMO...thats your gamble;) I'd demand a videocall as soon as any mutual interest was found. NO WAY in hell I'd pursue anyone before I knew who they REALLY are and what they look like. You NEVER really know someone until you're face to face. For every success story you read about, there are probably tens of 1000s of horror stories. For some people it might be the only way, since a first glance might scare away most in a normal social setting. More power to ya.
Sounds cheesey but after I had a really bad relationship with a girl and she moved out of my house I went into a deep depression played WoW for a while (sad right?). While I was on wow I became friends with a girl and now that girl is my fiance, as in I gave her the ring while we was at St. Augustine beach florida and she said yes
I couldnt be happier to have met someone online and get to know them so well. Note: When you first meet them in person, its like starting all over again. It really depends on how you go about dating online, I think one of the reasons me and my fiance have such a good relationship is that sex was the last thing that was on our mind. It's just nice to have company you know.
Not cheesy at all, when fate strikes you just have to roll along with it. And congrats!
_______
|___
\_______/
=
|X| \*........*/ |X|
|X|_________|X|
You wouldn't understand
I met my GF in everquest years and years ago, it took a while but we finally moved in together 2 years ago and things are great.
Sooo my vote is no.
Pear of wisdom right there. I don't think it's any different then going on a blind date. If you've met said person because of common interests who's to say it's right or wrong. You could meet that person anywhere be it online or mountain climbing on a solid granite face swinging from ropes and climbing gear. I'd at least see where it goes. Who knows it might be interesting or it might not. Without risk there is no reward.
No required quests! And if I decide I want to be an assassin-cartographer-dancer-pastry chef who lives only to stalk and kill interior decorators, then that's who I want to be, even if it takes me four years to max all the skills and everyone else thinks I'm freaking nuts. -Madimorga-
99% of the time, the person whom you think you are involved with, is not the way they are in real life as they are on the game. There are a lot of people who game to escape real life. It doesn't bother them in the least if they string you along. Most have them have been done like that in real life, due to having some sort of issue, i.e. fat, ugly, geek, etc., and they justify acting like an arsehole, to themselves, because things like that have happened to them.
in reality, the relationships we have with other people are the only thing we really have in this world that really means anything. Any avenue that lets us connect to those around us is a good thing, even if some people might use that avenue for maliciously. It isn't the mediums fault that people are so messed up.
It is this principle that makes MMO's worth playing, as the gameplay is usually very gimped due to latency restrictions.
Now, to what degree the relationship should evolve, well thats just requires a bit of common sense. If you can't physically see the person., then you really shouldn't pursue anything beyond that of friends. We've all heard stories about some poor smuch how got his head into a "game chick" only to find out its a dude.
Frankly, if that happens to you, yer just asking for it.
Frank 'Spankybus' Mignone
www.spankybus.com
-3d Artist & Compositor
-Writer
-Professional Amature
The only problem is that when you meet your mind doesn't connect the person you talk to online with the person you see in front of you. So its a little weird knowing a person you don't really know.
Sent me an email if you want me to mail you some pizza rolls.
just because it worked for me, doesn't mean it will work for everyone as people are indicating. it does take a lot of work, a lot more trust, and probably a good bit of luck.
I think the community in the games has gotten more malicious over the years of MMO's so it may not be "as easy" or "as safe" however you want to put it. I wouldn't tell anyone NOT to get into a relationship with someone they met in game, its just a common interest to start a friendship from and see what happens from that point on. Just as most things, its more "dangerous" and caution should be taken with every step.
If someone is married, then it is bad mojo to play act a marriage on line, imo. There is nothing wrong with friendships... As mentioned, may female toons are played by males and that should be considered before *developing* a relatoinship...
You can say the same thing about meeting someone in real life. Cause to be honest you don't really know that person you just met at a bar, mall, school, etc It's about getting to know them and about trust and being careful. You also can get a broken heart no matter how you meet that person.
No probs with it at all, I met my other half in an online game.
The nice thing about it is you talk so much through msn or in game that looks dont really matter at all anymore, mind you she does look good though
5 Years further now and we have our 1st son together and doing great, and indeed as said before i can always toss on a game as we both love gaming.
I guess you still have to becareful out there though coz indeed everyone can pretend to be someone they are not but that can also happen in a pub, bar etc. It can be tough at 1st but if you both go for it then nice things can come out of it
and distance is just a small obstacle.
I think that is why alot of people like having voice chat in game now......While I am not a fan of it myself at least you know wehther someone is male or female......Funny thing is when other players learn that someone playing that female cleric really is a female they treat her totally differently.......There was also a female wizard we had in our guild and many of the male players were always hitting on her, I felt kinda sorry for her and eventually she left.
IMO Teala, it's only ok if you both have no limitations in seeing each other at any time. Online relationships have all the same qualities of a normal relationship, just delivered over a different medium. You'll find the same amount of bad and good whether online or in person. The idea that there's just a bunch of dishonest weirdos online is an urban myth obviously created by someone that hasn't dated in the real world much. (I've had better luck online personally lol)
I've been in several online relationships where a couple worked out well for years, and others that fell apart due to distance alone. The only reason I see an online relationship failing for a different reason then a normal relationship would is a limitation in being together. Relationships need a physical connection at some point regardless of someone's beliefs, so they will always fall apart eventually if it's difficult or impossible for you to have that.
Done that twice now and to be honest I think they were doomed to failure. As the relationships tend to operate over a distance they tend to have a very limited lifespan.
I used to visit this site a lot however in recent years it has become the home of negative forum posts, illogical opinions and tantrums so I visit less often.
Played or Beta'd: UO / DAOC / Horizons / EQ2 / DDO / EVE / Archlord / PirateKingsOnline / Tabula Rasa / LOTRO / AOC / Champions / Darkfall / Mortal Online / DCUO / Rift / STO / SWTOR / TSW
I guess it can be ok, I think girls have to be really carefull, more so than guys.
But i still think it is much better to meet poeple in RL, personaly i think poeple who can only meet and flirt with the other sex online has some social difficulties or maybe just confidense issues... or they just dont get out enuff =P
In that case i guss if you have no chance of ever meeting somone in RL maybe its not such a bad thing to meet a love online and spend the rest of your life with them?
What ever makes poeple happy, but i think meeting girls out at bars clubs, through friends or anyware is part of the fun of life! and f&$king them two =P
Well, I'm not really looking forward to dating a fat guy with more pimples than me.
So yeah ... it is a bad idea. At least IMO.
LOL
Seriously though, how could online be any worse than meeting in some crappy bar, hammered off of shitty, dollar night beers?
Uh......because no matter how hammered you are, you still have an "idea" what they look like. It is true that you may want to punch yourself in the face in the morning, but you only have yourself to blame. You can always think of a brilliant excuse, bail out and never see them again.
I can just sense the awkwardness, after you meet your hot date from the raid the other night, she turns out to be a beast, then you have to /quitguild on Monday.
I fail to see the difference here. It's just as easy for people to lie to your face as it is for them to lie through the internet. Sure, in person you can see what they look like, but it still might take a month of knowing them before you find out they're completely fucking insane.
Nothing wrong with it but like others said, you just got to be carefull. I met someone in my linkshell when i used to play FFXI. She was awesome, I guess we were in a sense a perfect match.
After a long time, of just talking ALOTTTTTTTT. It went to shit, i knew she was with someone. But he was piece of crap... that beat the crap out of her, and her kid. But she just couldn't be a WOMAN and leave him. Cause she wanted her kid to have her biological father in her life, at the cost of getting beaten up and being unhappy. I couldn't take it anymore.... so i moved on.
Fricken women, are nuts... reminds me.. i need to go saw that wife beating piece of crap in half with a chainsaw.
Definitely not. For both myself, and a few friends of mine, our most meaningful relationships started online before shifting off of the net
And at least for some people, it's the only way they have to meet other people and socialize.
As my mom says, it's fairly reminicsent of corspondence courting, and that worked out for people for a couple centuries...
I would say that meeting a person online and getting involved with them is as invariably complex as it is doing so offline. However, for guys, meeting a girl online is more unlikely, because girls will never know the harsh stigmas of dating that guys do.
My blog is a continuing story of what MMO's should be like.
Is it bad..? What if you had no choice? A real life relationship for some is fatal. It's between an online relationship and a hospital bed. It is really the only choice I can make. Even the online relationship is double sided but a real life relationship isn't even possible because the human body can only withstand so much. Online relationships are kind of nice though because..well because I can have one and it is mostly pain-free.
LMAO! ...all right ::puts her serious face on::...no.