yes i have seriously declined in my gaming in general with kids now and since they are so young means i rarely get more then 1 hour in a go and maybe 2-3 hours on sunday since we do stuff on saturday essentially family first .this became so obvious to me when i returned to Everquest 1 for the progression server and realised i could not even keep up at all. this is why casual mmorpg are more popular.if i have to take 1 hour to just get into a group that essentially is my whole time gone without doing anything
yes i have seriously declined in my gaming in general with kids now and since they are so young means i rarely get more then 1 hour in a go and maybe 2-3 hours on sunday since we do stuff on saturday essentially family first .this became so obvious to me when i returned to Everquest 1 for the progression server and realised i could not even keep up at all. this is why casual mmorpg are more popular.if i have to take 1 hour to just get into a group that essentially is my whole time gone without doing anything
Absolutely. I have hopes for the survival and conquest genres because of this. Games that require less scheduled attention, and more hop in and play and feel satisfied for the short time one gets.
The solution is easy. Get wife to play a healer. Give kid(s) a high level account and just tell them to run around killing shit and sending you the gold.
The second kid pretty much killed gaming for me. Although now that he's 5 (close to 6) he does enjoy some gaming, so I get some gaming sessions with him. (Been playing Never Alone co-op, and both of us enjoyed it.) I remember playing the early levels of EQ2 in Frostfang Sea with my daughter when she was young, but I never got far in EQ2.
I think it's a matter of choice. I have little free time, and gaming isn't always at the top of the list of what I want to do. If it was I'm sure I could cram a couple of hours of gaming a week.
My wife and I work full time and we have two Sons, both toddlers. Both of us enjoy gaming, console for her and PC for me, but by and large we don't get to play more than 1-4 hours a week. Sometimes when my wife is stressed I'll take the kiddos to the playground or the trampoline place so they can have fun and burn off some energy, and I get to watch them giggle hysterically, while my wife gets to zone out playing something for a few hours at home. It's the same when I need a break she lets me retreat to the computer upstairs and she entertains them for a few hours. Naps are the best time to get some gaming time in but that's assuming the dishes and laundry are done, toys are picked up, floors are swept, shopping is done, etc. You would be shocked at how many other things need to get done when you have children.
I tried playing games with my kids but I feel so guilty zoning out with them in the room especially when they want to play as well, or ask questions, or wrestle, or go outside, or eat, or use the toilette, or throw a random fit because they didn't get pancakes for breakfast, or...you get the idea. For us it's kids first and everything else second. Not necessarily related to gaming but you and she will need to find some time for yourselves. It's unbelievably easy to get caught up in taking care of them at the expense of taking care of each other and your relationship. Don't be afraid to ask a family member/baby sitter/church friend to watch them for a few hours while you and she go see a movie, eat dinner...or rent a hotel room. You may laugh but seriously it's hard sometimes to find time for each other and gaming isn't the first thing on your mind!
I also downloaded some games on my iPhone and iPad (FF6, FF7, etc) to get my gaming fix when I'm sitting at work and don't want to work, or when I'm at the DMV, or whenever I have a spare 10-15 minutes.
I play in small chunks (half an hour to an hour tops if I'm lucky), so games like DFO/warframe are perfect for me. Takes me about 2 hours to burn through a fatigue bar, i can spread that through most of the day while getting stuff done and taking care of my 2 year old. Raids are right out unless I can get my MIL to look after her. I think that's the only aspect of a mmorpg that I can't do. Everything else can be put into bite sized pieces for when I need a break.
Idk how about you guys but I try not to watch TV its waste of time with 0 entertainment and lot of dumb bull shit stupid movies stupid music stupid shows ...even documentary movies nowdays are crappy fantasy trash and some even with propaganda in them ... Gameing make's me more ignorant to world and more happy ....there is so much shit and we can't do anything to change .
Wake up turn on TV and news your days is ruined by all the horrifying things people make some time after such TV entertainment I see my self as a hero of some movies when they go crazy of all shit and start killing left and right )))
I have an 8yr old and a 2yr old sand it's never been a problem for me. You need 2 things, early bedtime for the kids and a wife who's not a bitch = happy gaming.
Some good advice and anecdotes in this thread and some typical mmorpg responses
A few people said to find a more casual game that you can bounce in and out of and still have fun. I have to agree with that.
A few people recommended GW2 (MikePaladin said it first). That is the game I play with my family. The nice thing about GW2 is that if you go help someone you are scaled down to the zone level. This means that even if everyone has leveled up way past you they will level to your area when they come help. Even more importantly their xp and loot rewards stay at their "real" level. That way there is no penalty for helping anyone in the game.
The next thing is to find the right guild or group of people to play with. As you can tell by reading the prior three pages of responses some people would make good players to run with and others would not. That is harder to find but my wife and I have always found good friends in our games.
My story. I was a gamer when we got married 10 years ago. My wife was not. (how she became a gamer is for another thread) During the years each of us has had our gaming interest wean and grow, not always at the same time. Two kids have come along. The kids are now 6 and 8. Both like to game but we do try to balance play, gaming, sports and school. It is not easy. Gaming is easy to get sucked into and we have to make a conscience decision to hold the balance.
When the kids were younger our rule was we could only play after the kids were in bed. Now that the kids are older the rule is no electronics on Monday, Tuesday and Thursday. Those night are focused on school work and other activities. You have to find your balance and what works for you. (mommy and Daddy play after the kids go to bed at 7:30) Yeah, there is some good advice. Kids need lots of sleep. They will stay up if you let them but they will go to sleep fast if you get them to bed early and they are in much better moods the next day!
Now that the kids are older we play together as a family. We are also in a good position and we were able to buy everyone a gaming pc. We have an office at the house with all the system set up together. So, yea, we play together. 6 year old girl loves to heal, cook and make "clothes." So she does that. 8 year old loves to pvp and fight things up close so he tanks or plays rogue. My wife likes to dps with magic users and I really like bows. Makes for a nice party. We play gw2 and did our first dungeon this past Sunday. Went better than I expected. So things are working out for us.
We did stumble across a nice player who was looking for a nice guild so they joined our family guild. I don't know why they stay. We play so few hours and are in another time zone but it is a nice little group that seems to work for us.
Every situation is unique. You will have to discover what works for you. I hope you find a way to get to a place of healthy balance!
These past couple of years, I try to get in gaming time... it often doesn't work. Kid goes in bed at 8.. which means IF I'm home I'll get to play from 8-10/11. But then I'm ignoring TV/Movies/Chores.
More often, I've found that I'm switching to either 3DS (which I carry around everywhere) or my iDevices.
Gotta be honest though, MMO's over the past couple of years have slowly lost my interest anyways because I hated the "endgame" mentality people had. They lost the journey just to hit that grind at the end. And I haven't found a game that rekindles my love for exploration (yet).
That's why I like games like Portal Knights. They give me a place I can play around in, at my own leisure, and not worry about end game grinding (yet).
Being selfish when you provide or help provide for is OKAY to do for parents and spouses. If you don't find time for yourself to do things you enjoy you will become bitter and resentful.
That's just how things go.
Don't be angry husband/dad. Make time for yourself.
Being selfish when you provide or help provide for is OKAY to do for parents and spouses. If you don't find time for yourself to do things you enjoy you will become bitter and resentful.
That's just how things go.
Don't be angry husband/dad. Make time for yourself.
This times 1000.
Mid 40's with two kids , career and wife.
Part of being a good parent is showing your kids a happy adult who gets to do their own thing and enjoys life also.
Being a well rounded adult is not "living for your kids". It's being happy yourself also.
You our can say you don't ever need alone time away from your wife and kids all you want. Your wife plays games with you , does everything with you and you are happy all the time. No need for you to have your own lime at all....
Trick yourself all you want , when resentment hits you smack in the face , you might even be able to hide it , but it'll be there.
Not referring to the OP either , just the ones who suggest to always do everything with your spouse and kids etc. You have responsibilities to take care of your kids , one of those is showing them a well rounded person who has their own self , not just a dad and husband.
Tell your wife that instead of you playing video games alone and leaving her in peace, that the two of you can spend the evening watching sports together instead.
EQ1, EQ2, SWG, SWTOR, GW, GW2 CoH, CoV, FFXI, WoW, CO, War,TSW and a slew of free trials and beta tests
Above all you're a parent now, and as much
as it may suck for your current gaming schedule it's your responsibility to
ensure that your children don't grow up to be filthy casuals.
Now I understand with your schedule that you’re
having a hard time at getting your own fix in to keep the demons at bay so you
don’t take a long jump with a short rope. Fortunately you’ve come to us here to
help you out. With minutes of thought I’ve put a list together that should be
able to help you out.
First - Eliminate all
unnecessary social obligations. Go out with friends for dinner? No way! Counter
it with going out for lunch while you're at work. That way you have the added
benefit of getting paid for your time with them, and minimizing the duration of
social contact. If you happen to be free of social obligations for a lunch,
it's advised you spend the time exercising at your closest gym. The healthier
you are, the longer you'll live, the more you'll be able to game. Also, don’t be afraid to start lying
or playing up your schedule to get extra gaming time, even to your wife if necessary. Remember, people will lie, cheat and steal from you. But games are forever.
Second
- Efficiency. Every second counts while gaming. The next time you’re in the
washroom, take time to plan every single stop on your path during the day. Are
you driving by a grocery store? Stop and acquire supplies. Are you going
upstairs and can carry ten things at once instead of two trips? Do it. Proper
planning before the day begins can save tens of minutes of prime gaming time.
The same goes for meal planning. Always ensure there are quick and healthy
options for nourishment. If possible, plan cooking times around server
down-times.
Third -
Outsource. During the larvae stages, your offspring is ineffective at
communication and often demanding of your prime gaming time. I advise
outsourcing as much of this time as possible to Grandparents to reduce
disruption in your schedule. It has an added effect of them bonding with your
spawn, laying the groundwork for when you ask them to contribute to
"Junior's Raiding Computer" in a few years. If Grandparents are
unavailable, explore options with a Nanny or Boarding School. Remember – no price
is too high for your own piece of mind.
Fourth
- Training. My recommendation is to get an ipad or gameboy into your spawn's
hands as soon as possible and to monitor their progress closely. RPGs and
Adventure games are great for developing the necessary skills needed to one day
heal or tank your dungeon group. If progress slows, find suitable punishments
or incentive to improve their performance. Studies have shown restricting bread
and water to be a good motivator.
Fifth – Dominance. It seems
like you're letting the baby call the shots, even at 7 months old - this is a
bad habit to get into. It'll never stop. Sure first it's simple "Hunger,
and change me." But before you know it, they'll be asking you to drive
them places, go to recitals, hell - even help with their homework. If you don't
stop this now, they'll think it's okay to roll a DPS when what you really need
is a Healer. Look into establishing a sound proof bubble around the crib, or
other obedience control measures. They'll learn their place fast.
As
difficult as it may be, your actions and sacrifice will shape and ensure that
that your offspring becomes a valued member of the gaming community in the
future. Do not let us down. Do not shirk your duty.
As
difficult as it may be, your actions and sacrifice will shape and ensure that
that your offspring becomes a valued member of the gaming community in the
future. Do not let us down. Do not shirk your duty.
Personally, I don't interfere much with my kids' entertainment. If they want to play toxic LoL, it is their business.
There are so MANY other things that I want to care for them, like school/career, intellectual development, health, relationship .... that how they game is not something I particularly care, or have bandwidth for.
Sure, it would be great if they sometimes can game with me ... but I would much rather, if I spend time with my kids, have a conversation (on anything ... science, politices ... ) than wasting time killing monsters.
It's very hard to balance gaming and family life....at least I think so. I mostly get in my game time during bits and pieces. I found playing to be a bit easier with the kids when they were young and in bed early. I could get everyone fed, read to, and then tucked into bed by 8pm. Then we could really have fun with our games. We did many more group activities back then when the kids were asleep.
Now days with two teens, I find my life much more complicated and hectic. Yes, they are more independent but my time is just as busy in different ways. I'm always driving them around, they are doing homework, or they just want to talk, etc. Due to hubby's schedule, we end up eating rather late. By the time dishes are done, dog walked, we are both too tired to stay up much past 10pm much less game. Our day starts so darned early. I get most of my gaming time in during weekends or in bits and pieces between other household stuff. Every time I see someone advertising for groups in guild chat, I'm usually in the middle of something and really can't join in. I usually play in little chunks of time thus excluding many quality group activities. Can't even envision raiding at this point.
Think with gaming you really do need to be careful. It is important to have mom and dad time however if everything revolves around a game, that isn't a great thing. I've found that at times I've gotten resentful when my gaming time is so interrupted. At that point, I've taken a step back and gotten my priorities back in order. The challenge can be even greater if one person isn't a gamer. I've known friends who have had some serious martial issues over excessive gaming, television watching, golfing, (insert time consuming hobby here). It always helps when both have similar interests but it isn't always the case.
Comments
essentially family first .this became so obvious to me when i returned to Everquest 1 for the progression server and realised i could not even keep up at all.
this is why casual mmorpg are more popular.if i have to take 1 hour to just get into a group that essentially is my whole time gone without doing anything
I think it's a matter of choice. I have little free time, and gaming isn't always at the top of the list of what I want to do. If it was I'm sure I could cram a couple of hours of gaming a week.
I tried playing games with my kids but I feel so guilty zoning out with them in the room especially when they want to play as well, or ask questions, or wrestle, or go outside, or eat, or use the toilette, or throw a random fit because they didn't get pancakes for breakfast, or...you get the idea. For us it's kids first and everything else second. Not necessarily related to gaming but you and she will need to find some time for yourselves. It's unbelievably easy to get caught up in taking care of them at the expense of taking care of each other and your relationship. Don't be afraid to ask a family member/baby sitter/church friend to watch them for a few hours while you and she go see a movie, eat dinner...or rent a hotel room. You may laugh but seriously it's hard sometimes to find time for each other and gaming isn't the first thing on your mind!
I also downloaded some games on my iPhone and iPad (FF6, FF7, etc) to get my gaming fix when I'm sitting at work and don't want to work, or when I'm at the DMV, or whenever I have a spare 10-15 minutes.
It's no problem.
Gameing make's me more ignorant to world and more happy ....there is so much shit and we can't do anything to change .
Wake up turn on TV and news your days is ruined by all the horrifying things people make some time after such TV entertainment I see my self as a hero of some movies when they go crazy of all shit and start killing left and right )))
Gamer dad = chronic lack of sleep
A few people said to find a more casual game that you can bounce in and out of and still have fun. I have to agree with that.
A few people recommended GW2 (MikePaladin said it first). That is the game I play with my family. The nice thing about GW2 is that if you go help someone you are scaled down to the zone level. This means that even if everyone has leveled up way past you they will level to your area when they come help. Even more importantly their xp and loot rewards stay at their "real" level. That way there is no penalty for helping anyone in the game.
The next thing is to find the right guild or group of people to play with. As you can tell by reading the prior three pages of responses some people would make good players to run with and others would not. That is harder to find but my wife and I have always found good friends in our games.
My story. I was a gamer when we got married 10 years ago. My wife was not. (how she became a gamer is for another thread) During the years each of us has had our gaming interest wean and grow, not always at the same time. Two kids have come along. The kids are now 6 and 8. Both like to game but we do try to balance play, gaming, sports and school. It is not easy. Gaming is easy to get sucked into and we have to make a conscience decision to hold the balance.
When the kids were younger our rule was we could only play after the kids were in bed. Now that the kids are older the rule is no electronics on Monday, Tuesday and Thursday. Those night are focused on school work and other activities. You have to find your balance and what works for you. (mommy and Daddy play after the kids go to bed at 7:30) Yeah, there is some good advice. Kids need lots of sleep. They will stay up if you let them but they will go to sleep fast if you get them to bed early and they are in much better moods the next day!
Now that the kids are older we play together as a family. We are also in a good position and we were able to buy everyone a gaming pc. We have an office at the house with all the system set up together. So, yea, we play together. 6 year old girl loves to heal, cook and make "clothes." So she does that. 8 year old loves to pvp and fight things up close so he tanks or plays rogue. My wife likes to dps with magic users and I really like bows. Makes for a nice party. We play gw2 and did our first dungeon this past Sunday. Went better than I expected. So things are working out for us.
We did stumble across a nice player who was looking for a nice guild so they joined our family guild. I don't know why they stay. We play so few hours and are in another time zone but it is a nice little group that seems to work for us.
Every situation is unique. You will have to discover what works for you. I hope you find a way to get to a place of healthy balance!
Sorry about the wall of text... =(
___________________________
Have flask; will travel.
You make the time. For yourself.
Being selfish when you provide or help provide for is OKAY to do for parents and spouses.
If you don't find time for yourself to do things you enjoy you will become bitter and resentful.
That's just how things go.
Don't be angry husband/dad. Make time for yourself.
(Father of 3)
View more silliness at http://www.youtube.com/thehiveleader
Mid 40's with two kids , career and wife.
Part of being a good parent is showing your kids a happy adult who gets to do their own thing and enjoys life also.
Being a well rounded adult is not "living for your kids". It's being happy yourself also.
You our can say you don't ever need alone time away from your wife and kids all you want. Your wife plays games with you , does everything with you and you are happy all the time. No need for you to have your own lime at all....
Trick yourself all you want , when resentment hits you smack in the face , you might even be able to hide it , but it'll be there.
Not referring to the OP either , just the ones who suggest to always do everything with your spouse and kids etc. You have responsibilities to take care of your kids , one of those is showing them a well rounded person who has their own self , not just a dad and husband.
EQ1, EQ2, SWG, SWTOR, GW, GW2 CoH, CoV, FFXI, WoW, CO, War,TSW and a slew of free trials and beta tests
Above all you're a parent now, and as much as it may suck for your current gaming schedule it's your responsibility to ensure that your children don't grow up to be filthy casuals.
Now I understand with your schedule that you’re having a hard time at getting your own fix in to keep the demons at bay so you don’t take a long jump with a short rope. Fortunately you’ve come to us here to help you out. With minutes of thought I’ve put a list together that should be able to help you out.
First - Eliminate all unnecessary social obligations. Go out with friends for dinner? No way! Counter it with going out for lunch while you're at work. That way you have the added benefit of getting paid for your time with them, and minimizing the duration of social contact. If you happen to be free of social obligations for a lunch, it's advised you spend the time exercising at your closest gym. The healthier you are, the longer you'll live, the more you'll be able to game. Also, don’t be afraid to start lying or playing up your schedule to get extra gaming time, even to your wife if necessary. Remember, people will lie, cheat and steal from you. But games are forever.
Second - Efficiency. Every second counts while gaming. The next time you’re in the washroom, take time to plan every single stop on your path during the day. Are you driving by a grocery store? Stop and acquire supplies. Are you going upstairs and can carry ten things at once instead of two trips? Do it. Proper planning before the day begins can save tens of minutes of prime gaming time. The same goes for meal planning. Always ensure there are quick and healthy options for nourishment. If possible, plan cooking times around server down-times.
Third - Outsource. During the larvae stages, your offspring is ineffective at communication and often demanding of your prime gaming time. I advise outsourcing as much of this time as possible to Grandparents to reduce disruption in your schedule. It has an added effect of them bonding with your spawn, laying the groundwork for when you ask them to contribute to "Junior's Raiding Computer" in a few years. If Grandparents are unavailable, explore options with a Nanny or Boarding School. Remember – no price is too high for your own piece of mind.
Fourth - Training. My recommendation is to get an ipad or gameboy into your spawn's hands as soon as possible and to monitor their progress closely. RPGs and Adventure games are great for developing the necessary skills needed to one day heal or tank your dungeon group. If progress slows, find suitable punishments or incentive to improve their performance. Studies have shown restricting bread and water to be a good motivator.
Fifth – Dominance. It seems like you're letting the baby call the shots, even at 7 months old - this is a bad habit to get into. It'll never stop. Sure first it's simple "Hunger, and change me." But before you know it, they'll be asking you to drive them places, go to recitals, hell - even help with their homework. If you don't stop this now, they'll think it's okay to roll a DPS when what you really need is a Healer. Look into establishing a sound proof bubble around the crib, or other obedience control measures. They'll learn their place fast.
As difficult as it may be, your actions and sacrifice will shape and ensure that that your offspring becomes a valued member of the gaming community in the future. Do not let us down. Do not shirk your duty.
There are so MANY other things that I want to care for them, like school/career, intellectual development, health, relationship .... that how they game is not something I particularly care, or have bandwidth for.
Sure, it would be great if they sometimes can game with me ... but I would much rather, if I spend time with my kids, have a conversation (on anything ... science, politices ... ) than wasting time killing monsters.
Now days with two teens, I find my life much more complicated and hectic. Yes, they are more independent but my time is just as busy in different ways. I'm always driving them around, they are doing homework, or they just want to talk, etc. Due to hubby's schedule, we end up eating rather late. By the time dishes are done, dog walked, we are both too tired to stay up much past 10pm much less game. Our day starts so darned early. I get most of my gaming time in during weekends or in bits and pieces between other household stuff. Every time I see someone advertising for groups in guild chat, I'm usually in the middle of something and really can't join in. I usually play in little chunks of time thus excluding many quality group activities. Can't even envision raiding at this point.
Think with gaming you really do need to be careful. It is important to have mom and dad time however if everything revolves around a game, that isn't a great thing. I've found that at times I've gotten resentful when my gaming time is so interrupted. At that point, I've taken a step back and gotten my priorities back in order. The challenge can be even greater if one person isn't a gamer. I've known friends who have had some serious martial issues over excessive gaming, television watching, golfing, (insert time consuming hobby here). It always helps when both have similar interests but it isn't always the case.