I have never been ashamed or embarrassed by playing games themselves because I love them. I have, however, often been ashamed of being part of the gaming community and the hatred, bigotry, and bullying that takes place.
I am gay. When I first came out, I was terrified of what would happen, as I knew two other gay kids who were kicked out of their houses by their parents after coming out. Luckily, my family was mostly accepting (I still have some family members who don't speak to me, 12 years later).
My friends were also, for the most part, accepting, but the one place I have never felt safe or comfortable has been the gaming community. At the time I came out, I was in a D&D group at a local gaming shop, and the members of my group refused to play with me once they knew. I have a feminine voice, and rarely play games that require a microphone unless I am ready to endure endless streams of slurs and gay jokes.
I am 29 now, and I have few problems in regular life talking about video games. People are accepting, many have played them now and few people have looked down on me for it. But venture into an online community, to try and be a part of things and it is still a little terrifying how fellow gamers will treat me. And any effort to combat it is usually met with a "get out social justice warrior!" Or a "grow thicker skin!" response. It is disappointing and the only aspect of gaming of which I am ashamed.
Of course, these fears and situations are not unique to gay people, but I see it happening to women and minorities as well. And this is something that people tell me about when I talk about gaming. It is one of the traits that non-gamers seem to know gamers by.
But ultimately, I love video games, and continue to find communities, however small, that don't subscribe to hateful ideologies and game within them. And hopefully the gaming community is getting better, and there are some positive signs of this.
As a 31 year old who's been playing Fortnite, where there is a below 18 player in every other group, that's about the only time I feel a stigma, is when I'm being matched with children. As a result I mute any kids that pop into the mic unless they sound mature enough. Best to avoid them as they annoy me and it makes me feel old when they speak. lol.
Gaming is not embarrassing. However, if you're unemployed, gaming is extremely embarrassing.
Their isn't anything embarrassing about gaming if you are unemployed. It is the reason for being unemployed that can be embarrassing. If you are unemployed because you got laid off but are actively seeking a job should you be embarrassed for doing something you enjoy, don't think so. If you are unemployed because you call in all the time because you are addicted to a game maybe then you should be embarrassed but other than that nope no embarrassment at all.
I have been a gamer my whole life just about. My parents bought me pong back when that was the game to have and I have been a gamer ever since. It all comes down to balancing your life. When any aspect of you life becomes your life in determent to other aspects then you should worry. As long as you have your life in order you should be proud of who you are and what you do no matter what anyone else thinks to be honest. Always be proud of who you are, gamer or not. Hell nowadays you can make a living by just being a gamer!
"Lord knows I'm proud to be a gamer, a gamer is what i want to be, without my games I'd probably be a lamer, now I got a chance to be a hall of famer"!!
Gaming is not embarrassing. However, if you're unemployed, gaming is extremely embarrassing.
Their isn't anything embarrassing about gaming if you are unemployed. It is the reason for being unemployed that can be embarrassing. If you are unemployed because you got laid off but are actively seeking a job should you be embarrassed for doing something you enjoy, don't think so. If you are unemployed because you call in all the time because you are addicted to a game maybe then you should be embarrassed but other than that nope no embarrassment at all.
hmmm, if you are unemployed and you need to work and you are sitting at home playing a lot of games then I think there is a larger issue at hand.
When I was laid off (for a year mind you, this was about 8 years ago when the economy tanked) I spent the entire day looking for jobs, dealing with unemployment, doing and redoing my resume and cover letters for each job. It was a hard time.
In truth, I think his post is half in jest but with a kernel of truth.
Like Skyrim? Need more content? Try my Skyrim mod "Godfred's Tomb."
It's hard to tell if you are being facetious or not. Anything done in excess is a disorder. You can have a disorder linked to working to much, sleeping to much, eating to much, etc... Some people have addictive personalities and they do just about anything in excess, but no the average gamer that enjoys gaming is not mentally ill.
I am an older female gamer who has been gaming since Pong, and rejoiced when my family bought the Atari 2600 for myself and siblings. I really have no one to talk to about gaming, but what I am proud about being a gamer is it helped spark an interest in computers at the time they were just starting to be developed for the home/office. I never would of learned how to replace parts on my PC if I wasn't such an avid reader of MMO websites. The first time logging onto an online game (Sega Dreamcast PSO) and realizing you are talking to people from all over the world, it was amazing at the time. I am definitely not ashamed to be a gamer, and being one helped me in real life.
I’m not embarrassed, I do hide my hobby though. I’m afraid that it will affect my work life. As soon as the people I work with would find out, I would get phased out. I don’t fit the stereotype of a gamer so to speak, I better fit the stereotype of a drill sergeant or prison warden, I just have the look and presence, that’s how people look at me and that’s how they expect me to perform at work, if I were to be associated with the likes of a video gamer I would be seen as weak and immature, unfit for the job. I’m forced to be two different people. There are many days I wish I could move away to a culture that would be more accepting without compromising my income.
I’m not embarrassed, I do hide my hobby though. I’m afraid that it will affect my work life. As soon as the people I work with would find out, I would get phased out. I don’t fit the stereotype of a gamer so to speak, I better fit the stereotype of a drill sergeant or prison warden, I just have the look and presence, that’s how people look at me and that’s how they expect me to perform at work, if I were to be associated with the likes of a video gamer I would be seen as weak and immature, unfit for the job. I’m forced to be two different people. There are many days I wish I could move away to a culture that would be more accepting without compromising my income.
There's a lot of that in the professional world.
Two of our Managers play video games but both are younger. And one of them is a higher level manager.
Other than him, no higher level manager plays video games or at least has never brought it up.
Funny enough, superficially, one would think IT people would be all over video games. However, in all the 7 years I've been here, not a one was ever interested in video games per our conversations.
Like Skyrim? Need more content? Try my Skyrim mod "Godfred's Tomb."
I am an older female gamer who has been gaming since Pong, and rejoiced when my family bought the Atari 2600 for myself and siblings. I really have no one to talk to about gaming, but what I am proud about being a gamer is it helped spark an interest in computers at the time they were just starting to be developed for the home/office. I never would of learned how to replace parts on my PC if I wasn't such an avid reader of MMO websites. The first time logging onto an online game (Sega Dreamcast PSO) and realizing you are talking to people from all over the world, it was amazing at the time. I am definitely not ashamed to be a gamer, and being one helped me in real life.
This
I started playing PBM games and would run up phone bills planning strategy with my team. The social component was the hook for me. I used to play D&D and board games (Still the board games) and was looked at funny by many back then but hey, the geeks won.
All of this sparked my interest in building my own boxes and playing with an OS to maximize my experience and I still enjoy that today although I feel we have hit a bit of a wall in terms of the need to really upgrade. I used to build a new box every couple years or so. My current machine is rocking a 980 TI, 32 megs of ram and built on an Intel i7 6700K - Not overclocked anymore. I find it bursts just fine without my tweaking so I have opted to not operate a furnace. I am optimizing memory speed, booting from a SSD and occasionally running a RAMDISC depending on the game and how often it needs to access the drive (Probably not at all necessary) GSync was nice innovation and I have no issue running 30-60 FPS (Depending on the game) on my big beautiful Predator monitor (3440x1440)
A few years ago, I used to play games in my home office with the heat off in the winter and my PC kept the room warm by itself
I do feel old in some settings. I recently tried out Sea of Thieves on my XBox (which sucks in my opinion) to find interacting with some of the teenies just more than I wanted to handle. i.e. "Look. One of us has to navigate, one has to steer. Hey stop hopping up and down for a minute...."
It's hard to tell if you are being facetious or not. Anything done in excess is a disorder. You can have a disorder linked to working to much, sleeping to much, eating to much, etc... Some people have addictive personalities and they do just about anything in excess, but no the average gamer that enjoys gaming is not mentally ill.
Spot on. Sarcasm is not easy to detect. When you say "average" do you mean, those random candy crush mobile gamer or like 90% of us that spends atleast two hours a day playing?
Ever feel bad that those 72 hours you just spent grinding during a long weekend could have been better doing something productive? What better way to make yourself feel better than to waste another 12 hours writing a feel-good apology.
The hard facts: Most people here are more-or-less functioning drug addicts. Kicking this addiction is hard, especially when you can come up with so many "good" things about it. Make no mistake however, all those things you claim to have done, you haven't. You may try to pretend and make yourself believe you have, but really, you've just been wasting away precious time for the most part.
Rather than doing something that involves 90% time-waste and 10% good stuff (relationship building, socializing), focus more on activities that are 90% good stuff. That way when you do waste a bit of time on yourself, you don't have to write poorly written articles attempting to justify it.
Good article Tim, missed your wit, its been a while.
At work I rarely discuss gaming, its just a thing at my age and mgmt level.
I imagine the younger employees have less issue, but that said while many people wear jerseys of their favorite sports teams (even Alabama, ugh...heritics) on casual day I've yet to see a single eSports jersey, not even for the Overwatch league.
Hey, theres an idea, I think I buy one and wear it next week, see if anyone has a clue.
If anyone in Senior Mgmt asks I'll just say it's for a New Zealand Rugby team....
Just trying to live long enough to play a new, released MMORPG, playing New Worlds atm
Fools find no pleasure in understanding but delight in airing their own opinions. Pvbs 18:2, NIV
Don't just play games, inhabit virtual worlds™
"This is the most intelligent, well qualified and articulate response to a post I have ever seen on these forums. It's a shame most people here won't have the attention span to read past the second line." - Anon
Proud to be a gamer? of course i am and i have no problem identifying as one. If some people see that as wrong, then is the problem with them or with me, seeing as how i am not the one with the problem, i see it as being entirely on them.
People are proud, and they should be, but here's a story of embarrassment.
It happened nearly a decade back, and perhaps, some stigmas have changed, but I was at a conference, surrounded by peers, or as peerful as it could be as I was the youngest at the table.
It was lunch, and we were all discussing software with our software rep, when the topic veered off a little onto various topics as we introduced ourselves.
One older gentleman went into a long uncoerced endorsement of World of Warcraft. Each person at the table that mentioned a hobby was met with some kind of encouragement, but this fellow was met with silence. It was an awkward moment, and I could tell that he felt a little out of place at that moment.
I think in some circles, gaming, or at least certain types of gaming can carry a stigma with it.
We do it here all the time actually, slinging insults at console gamers or people that prefer "themepark" games over "sandbox". But in the end we choose to be okay with who we are, or our choice is to allow ourselves to feel embarrassed.
Im reading though alot of these responses & obviously majority here are not teenagers and it got me thinking..
Isn't it hilarious to think there will be a generation of Senior Citizens that are gaming together . I mean , there are some now, Iv seen a few on twitch but im talking about generation X , The 80's kids that grew up on Atari,Nintendo, sega genesis , Apple & Amiga... Large numbers of old people playing video games into their twilight. You know , i read awhile ago seniors had one of the highest rates of suicide mostly due to boredom and loneliness , will be interesting to see if those numbers decline as Gen X has a hobby that really accommodates a more sedentary lifestyle.
People are proud, and they should be, but here's a story of embarrassment.
It happened nearly a decade back, and perhaps, some stigmas have changed, but I was at a conference, surrounded by peers, or as peerful as it could be as I was the youngest at the table.
It was lunch, and we were all discussing software with our software rep, when the topic veered off a little onto various topics as we introduced ourselves.
One older gentleman went into a long uncoerced endorsement of World of Warcraft. Each person at the table that mentioned a hobby was met with some kind of encouragement, but this fellow was met with silence. It was an awkward moment, and I could tell that he felt a little out of place at that moment.
I think in some circles, gaming, or at least certain types of gaming can carry a stigma with it.
We do it here all the time actually, slinging insults at console gamers or people that prefer "themepark" games over "sandbox". But in the end we choose to be okay with who we are, or our choice is to allow ourselves to feel embarrassed.
This is a perfect example, you kind of have to know your audience.
Like Skyrim? Need more content? Try my Skyrim mod "Godfred's Tomb."
Gaming is a hobby. So is camping, hunting, riding my bike, fixing my bike, paying way to much for bike parts, etc. I don't really need to be proud of it, I just take pleasure in doing.
I am proud of some of my accomplishments in games just as I am some of my accomplishments in the military. I do not see a need to brag about either though. It's something I do.
If you want a new idea, go read an old book.
In order to be insulted, I must first value your opinion.
Great article. Fortunately, I never cared what strangers thought, even at the height of the D&D stupidity mentioned. I started with Basic D&D in 1979 and have been a gamer ever since.
I wouldn't say that I'm exactly proud of being a gamer, but I'm certainly satisfied with where it has gotten me. If you're doing it right, gaming is a very inexpensive hobby that helps you meet creative and interesting people. I met my girlfriend in an MMO and also retired early.
I have defended (or attempted) gaming whenever it comes under attack. Recently on Facebook, someone suggested that video game are violent and influence shootings. I was quick to replay that I have been a gamer since 1972 and have never once considered taking a life. Nor have any of my four gamer children, one of whom is in his 40's. I find that those that are "against" gaming are those that have never attempted to play a game or who are afraid to do so because of those that try to mislabel it as an anti-social behavior. Gaming is not anti-social, contrary to some players attempts.
Comments
Amen...we found stuff my mom likes to do online and it does wonders for conversations around here
well shit mate I'm unemployed, have been for the last decade. . .
. . .am I extremely embarrassed? not one bit.
EQ1, EQ2, SWG, SWTOR, GW, GW2 CoH, CoV, FFXI, WoW, CO, War,TSW and a slew of free trials and beta tests
I am gay. When I first came out, I was terrified of what would happen, as I knew two other gay kids who were kicked out of their houses by their parents after coming out. Luckily, my family was mostly accepting (I still have some family members who don't speak to me, 12 years later).
My friends were also, for the most part, accepting, but the one place I have never felt safe or comfortable has been the gaming community. At the time I came out, I was in a D&D group at a local gaming shop, and the members of my group refused to play with me once they knew. I have a feminine voice, and rarely play games that require a microphone unless I am ready to endure endless streams of slurs and gay jokes.
I am 29 now, and I have few problems in regular life talking about video games. People are accepting, many have played them now and few people have looked down on me for it. But venture into an online community, to try and be a part of things and it is still a little terrifying how fellow gamers will treat me. And any effort to combat it is usually met with a "get out social justice warrior!" Or a "grow thicker skin!" response. It is disappointing and the only aspect of gaming of which I am ashamed.
Of course, these fears and situations are not unique to gay people, but I see it happening to women and minorities as well. And this is something that people tell me about when I talk about gaming. It is one of the traits that non-gamers seem to know gamers by.
But ultimately, I love video games, and continue to find communities, however small, that don't subscribe to hateful ideologies and game within them. And hopefully the gaming community is getting better, and there are some positive signs of this.
When I was laid off (for a year mind you, this was about 8 years ago when the economy tanked) I spent the entire day looking for jobs, dealing with unemployment, doing and redoing my resume and cover letters for each job. It was a hard time.
In truth, I think his post is half in jest but with a kernel of truth.
Godfred's Tomb Trailer: https://youtu.be/-nsXGddj_4w
Original Skyrim: https://www.nexusmods.com/skyrim/mods/109547
Serph toze kindly has started a walk-through. https://youtu.be/UIelCK-lldo
Two of our Managers play video games but both are younger. And one of them is a higher level manager.
Other than him, no higher level manager plays video games or at least has never brought it up.
Funny enough, superficially, one would think IT people would be all over video games. However, in all the 7 years I've been here, not a one was ever interested in video games per our conversations.
Godfred's Tomb Trailer: https://youtu.be/-nsXGddj_4w
Original Skyrim: https://www.nexusmods.com/skyrim/mods/109547
Serph toze kindly has started a walk-through. https://youtu.be/UIelCK-lldo
I started playing PBM games and would run up phone bills planning strategy with my team. The social component was the hook for me. I used to play D&D and board games (Still the board games) and was looked at funny by many back then but hey, the geeks won.
All of this sparked my interest in building my own boxes and playing with an OS to maximize my experience and I still enjoy that today although I feel we have hit a bit of a wall in terms of the need to really upgrade. I used to build a new box every couple years or so. My current machine is rocking a 980 TI, 32 megs of ram and built on an Intel i7 6700K - Not overclocked anymore. I find it bursts just fine without my tweaking so I have opted to not operate a furnace. I am optimizing memory speed, booting from a SSD and occasionally running a RAMDISC depending on the game and how often it needs to access the drive (Probably not at all necessary) GSync was nice innovation and I have no issue running 30-60 FPS (Depending on the game) on my big beautiful Predator monitor (3440x1440)
A few years ago, I used to play games in my home office with the heat off in the winter and my PC kept the room warm by itself
I do feel old in some settings. I recently tried out Sea of Thieves on my XBox (which sucks in my opinion) to find interacting with some of the teenies just more than I wanted to handle. i.e. "Look. One of us has to navigate, one has to steer. Hey stop hopping up and down for a minute...."
Seaspite
Playing ESO on my X-Box
Spot on. Sarcasm is not easy to detect. When you say "average" do you mean, those random candy crush mobile gamer or like 90% of us that spends atleast two hours a day playing?
Beta tester maniac
The hard facts: Most people here are more-or-less functioning drug addicts. Kicking this addiction is hard, especially when you can come up with so many "good" things about it. Make no mistake however, all those things you claim to have done, you haven't. You may try to pretend and make yourself believe you have, but really, you've just been wasting away precious time for the most part.
Rather than doing something that involves 90% time-waste and 10% good stuff (relationship building, socializing), focus more on activities that are 90% good stuff. That way when you do waste a bit of time on yourself, you don't have to write poorly written articles attempting to justify it.
At work I rarely discuss gaming, its just a thing at my age and mgmt level.
I imagine the younger employees have less issue, but that said while many people wear jerseys of their favorite sports teams (even Alabama, ugh...heritics) on casual day I've yet to see a single eSports jersey, not even for the Overwatch league.
Hey, theres an idea, I think I buy one and wear it next week, see if anyone has a clue.
If anyone in Senior Mgmt asks I'll just say it's for a New Zealand Rugby team....
"True friends stab you in the front." | Oscar Wilde
"I need to finish" - Christian Wolff: The Accountant
Just trying to live long enough to play a new, released MMORPG, playing New Worlds atm
Fools find no pleasure in understanding but delight in airing their own opinions. Pvbs 18:2, NIV
Don't just play games, inhabit virtual worlds™
"This is the most intelligent, well qualified and articulate response to a post I have ever seen on these forums. It's a shame most people here won't have the attention span to read past the second line." - Anon
It happened nearly a decade back, and perhaps, some stigmas have changed, but I was at a conference, surrounded by peers, or as peerful as it could be as I was the youngest at the table.
It was lunch, and we were all discussing software with our software rep, when the topic veered off a little onto various topics as we introduced ourselves.
One older gentleman went into a long uncoerced endorsement of World of Warcraft. Each person at the table that mentioned a hobby was met with some kind of encouragement, but this fellow was met with silence. It was an awkward moment, and I could tell that he felt a little out of place at that moment.
I think in some circles, gaming, or at least certain types of gaming can carry a stigma with it.
We do it here all the time actually, slinging insults at console gamers or people that prefer "themepark" games over "sandbox". But in the end we choose to be okay with who we are, or our choice is to allow ourselves to feel embarrassed.
Isn't it hilarious to think there will be a generation of Senior Citizens that are gaming together . I mean , there are some now, Iv seen a few on twitch but im talking about generation X , The 80's kids that grew up on Atari,Nintendo, sega genesis , Apple & Amiga... Large numbers of old people playing video games into their twilight. You know , i read awhile ago seniors had one of the highest rates of suicide mostly due to boredom and loneliness , will be interesting to see if those numbers decline as Gen X has a hobby that really accommodates a more sedentary lifestyle.
Aloha Mr Hand !
Godfred's Tomb Trailer: https://youtu.be/-nsXGddj_4w
Original Skyrim: https://www.nexusmods.com/skyrim/mods/109547
Serph toze kindly has started a walk-through. https://youtu.be/UIelCK-lldo
I am proud of some of my accomplishments in games just as I am some of my accomplishments in the military. I do not see a need to brag about either though. It's something I do.
If you want a new idea, go read an old book.
In order to be insulted, I must first value your opinion.
I wouldn't say that I'm exactly proud of being a gamer, but I'm certainly satisfied with where it has gotten me. If you're doing it right, gaming is a very inexpensive hobby that helps you meet creative and interesting people. I met my girlfriend in an MMO and also retired early.
Let's party like it is 1863!