Originally posted by Oziius Find more mature people to play with. Try to play with men who are married lol. We're not all a flutter from a female voice... we have one lol. I play eso with about three ladies, but we're all married and in our 30s. The are zero issues.
I agree. Find a new guild. They might not be as badass or Leet but go ahead and find a new guild of more mature players. I've been around top guilds, good guilds, fun guilds, mean guilds.
Just go to a guild with mature people. Don't stick around because their raids are awesome or sth unless you are willing to deal with the crap they come with. So find a guild of mature gamers. (unless you wanna keep working the situation you are in, which clearly you dont like very much though you might be going on cool raids and high end stuff.)
I've been in top notch guilds with cool people so they exist!
IMPORTANT: Please keep all replies to my posts about GAMING. Please no negative or backhanded comments directed at me personally. If you are going to post a reply that includes how you feel about me, please don't bother replying & just ignore my post instead. I'm on this forum to talk about GAMING. Thank you.
Originally posted by Rinna After 12 years playing online ... you should know this by now lol 1.) Stop spending so much time in voice chat. Play your game, play with a variety of people, when you have to join voicechat, do it to hear instructions and keep your talking to a minimum.2.) Make it known that you're married, very happily married and unavailable.3.) Get a very small group of mature friends, who have lives outside of game (well balanced), who you can somewhat trust to just chat with and enjoy the company of. No immature, testosterone soaked males and no drama loving, attention whore females allowed. Hold them close, treat them right and game with them for a long long time.4.) Make sure you're not seeking attention on voice chat, make sure on some level you don't secretly love the devotion you are complaining about because if you do, you won't end it. People have been killed IRL by men who met women online that worked them into such a lather they'd do anything for them. Make sure you're not using people for your own satisfaction on some level.5.) Never give out personal info. Not never, Not never ever. Ever. Ever.
Make that your happyly married wtf why because she is women she must lie like this so guys don´t act like idiots.
I would never advice this thats giving in on the IMMATURE jerks on the internet. Start ignoring them i would say fuck them who have no mature mutal respect because your women.
Never lie so they back off then in a way they have won.
Stand your ground make sure they know you want to be respected as any other guy in the game when you earned and deserve all who don´t IGNORE FUCK THEM there not importend and waste time on them.
There still plenty guys out there that are not jerks and give respect play with them. I know won´t be easy but don´t take shit from assholes PERIOD.
Hope to build full AMD system RYZEN/VEGA/AM4!!!
MB:Asus V De Luxe z77 CPU:Intell Icore7 3770k GPU: AMD Fury X(waiting for BIG VEGA 10 or 11 HBM2?(bit unclear now)) MEMORY:Corsair PLAT.DDR3 1866MHZ 16GB PSU:Corsair AX1200i OS:Windows 10 64bit
Find a guild with a female leader(preferably over 30 or better yet 40). Normally in that case it's going to be someone who's been playing for quite a while, and that started playing when there were even fewer women.
Or if you ever babysit just get the kids riled up and make sure they're heard over vent.
Practice doesn't make perfect, practice makes permanent.
"At one point technology meant making tech that could get to the moon, now it means making tech that could get you a taxi."
Originally posted by strawhat0981 I cannot believe this thread is still alive. Really?
A female posted about being treated differently because she's female. So of course 17 pages of guys proving her point. Please reference South Park episode "Bebe's Boobs Destroy Society" for a scientific look at this amazing phenomenon.
Find a guild with a female leader(preferably over 30 or better yet 40). Normally in that case it's going to be someone who's been playing for quite a while, and that started playing when there were even fewer women.
Or if you ever babysit just get the kids riled up and make sure they're heard over vent.
This is bad advice, my experience has been that older female leaders playing with older female gamers is that they never get along and there is always conflict. Granted, it's anecdotal, but I don't think this is going to solve the problem.
At the very least it probably won't be the males you have issues with in the guild, so I guess it does kind of solve the problem in a way. If the males are accepting of a female guild leader than they probably won't be the types to harass female gamers.
My suggestion would be to join a guild of mostly older players. There are a few raiding/progression guilds out there that match this criteria. If someone harasses you tell them to stop and if they continue call them out to the guild leader and/or officers, if they don't take serious action against them leave and find a new guild. There are plenty of guild environments that don't have this issue with female player harassment and I'm not sure why you are having so much trouble finding one.
I'd say sadly it won't die down, but instead only get worse. Contact the game devs and see about a name change needed due to harassment, then find better folks to hang with, and don't do vent, or already not for awhile until you get a better feel for those you hang with can handle it on a mature lvl.
You can say you are a female and some may still think you are a guy. Ease them into it before going on a voice program.
Sad you when have to do this, but alas, there are a lot more immature idiots playing these days.
GL, and hope you can find the peace you seek, and recapture the fun you crave.
Many of us were correctly educated by their parents to behave like well mannered human beings when in presence of women, and not just like horny animals, even when we were 20 years old.
^^ That is a winner.
As a gamer, a woman needs to grow thick skin and just cut ties with anyone that is a jerk or some lonely boy in a basement thinking the nice female voice on the other end of the line is his chance to escape to start a family.
I play EVE Online mostly, my alliance and even some in my corp are racist idiots from all parts of the world, some of them <20 years old thinking this is THE way to show how tough they are and to gain a reputation. It's very easy to pick out those players.
Woosh, on ignore ingame and on comms and byebye., have a nice life.
"going into arguments with idiots is a lost cause, it requires you to stoop down to their level and you can't win"
Ive played online games since their inception. As a woman, I find that other people in general do not give me attention unless I ask for it.
I have NEVER in my 30+ yrs as a female been unable to shake attention online I did not want. If you are having problems saying no to people because you feel responsible for how your no affects them, then this issue is not about them, but about you working out how to enforce boundiaries. Part of it, is being willing to not please every guy who seeks you out. Sort that shit out.
If you are having problems in conversations, where perhaps, your input is not wanted or needed, then stop butting in. In general, both online and in the real world, if you put yourself out there, and insist on people hearing your thoughts and ideas, you will eventually be made aware if the people around you, are not interested. It can be hard to accept that not everyone cares how you feel, all of the time. Not everyone gives a crap about how you think a raid should be run, or a challenge should be tackled. If they are not interested in your leadership and are not asking for your input, then perhaps you need to figure out if you can be a follower, and that means, being able to shut the fuck up. That is NOT about gender. A huge part of every raid is made up of people who can have fun without being the center of attention, and who do not need everyone to know what they think about whats going on. That large unsong hero of the raid, that doesnt take up time, and doesnt cause drama. Its a nice, quiet, comfortable spot to be in as a gamer. Try it.
Guys are not sociopathic monsters. And in general wont persue you, unless you encourage their behaviour. You might find it convenient to present it as though youve run into a den of socially dysfunctional males. But its more likely that your behaviour carries some responsibility for the issue and that you might need to work a bit on your own social skills. Shocking, I know.
Ive played online games since their inception. As a woman, I find that other people in general do not give me attention unless I ask for it.
I have NEVER in my 30+ yrs as a female been unable to shake attention online I did not want. If you are having problems saying no to people because you feel responsible for how your no affects them, then this issue is not about them, but about you working out how to enforce boundiaries. Part of it, is being willing to not please every guy who seeks you out. Sort that shit out.
If you are having problems in conversations, where perhaps, your input is not wanted or needed, then stop butting in. In general, both online and in the real world, if you put yourself out there, and insist on people hearing your thoughts and ideas, you will eventually be made aware if the people around you, are not interested. It can be hard to accept that not everyone cares how you feel, all of the time. Not everyone gives a crap about how you think a raid should be run, or a challenge should be tackled. If they are not interested in your leadership and are not asking for your input, then perhaps you need to figure out if you can be a follower, and that means, being able to shut the fuck up. That is NOT about gender. A huge part of every raid is made up of people who can have fun without being the center of attention, and who do not need everyone to know what they think about whats going on. That large unsong hero of the raid, that doesnt take up time, and doesnt cause drama. Its a nice, quiet, comfortable spot to be in as a gamer. Try it.
Guys are not sociopathic monsters. And in general wont persue you, unless you encourage their behaviour. You might find it convenient to present it as though youve run into a den of socially dysfunctional males. But its more likely that your behaviour carries some responsibility for the issue and that you might need to work a bit on your own social skills. Shocking, I know.
QFT
This i think is good advice for any gamer, regardless of gender, and as gamers, should gender even matter anyway?
Perhaps try to take a short break from the game to let the "fanclub" quiet down a little. After that, make sure you keep them at an arm's length. If necessary, just be frank with them that you don't like where it's going.
It's hard to disappoint people and it might make you feel real bad; but sometimes it's necessary when those guys are getting the wrong idea.
Elitist jerks will be elitist jerks however. I haven't got anything good to say about them lot either. Develop a code of your own and just keep with it is my advice.
Overall, I'd just pick a bunch of people whom you want to hang out with closely and stick with that. Don't let just everyone get close unless they prove themselves.
Feel free to use my referral link for SW:TOR if you want to test out the game. You'll get some special unlocks!
I suspect you like the attention or otherwise you would have already ended it. Women in general like to gripe about stuff just for the sake of complaining and get off on it on some masochistic level. I guess I am being one of those 'dicks' right now, but you are kinda portraying yourself as this stereotype. I mean, if you truly didn't want this type of negative attention, do as a lot of female gamers I've met over the years have done - play a male character - claim to be a dude - don't interact on vent/use a mic. But then you'd no longer be a special snowflake.
Btw, all guys are creeps, especially online. It enhances our creepiness. Even the seemingly mature ones. Also creeps, just more subtle about it. Just so you don't think I'm bagging on the female gender. However, recognize this fact and use the knowledge as prevention and not play into it
Originally posted by drakaena Btw, all guys are creeps, especially online. It enhances our creepiness. Even the seemingly mature ones. Also creeps, just more subtle about it. Just so you don't think I'm bagging on the female gender. However, recognize this fact and use the knowledge as prevention and not play into it
Speak for yourself. If you want to be a creep than whatever, but do not pin that label to the rest of the gaming community. My wife games, my daughter games, as well as both of my teenage sons, and none of the participate in this behavior nor do they allow it to go on around them.
You disgust me, and speak for yourself.
If you want a new idea, go read an old book.
In order to be insulted, I must first value your opinion.
OP, you problem has a very easy solution, find a picture of the ugliest woman out there you can find and post it as been you, no one else will ever bother you.
In other news I have to learn to deal with women's crap everyday "kinda like this topic", guess it's just that whole women are from venus, men are from mars thing.
Learn to cope and how to deal, also congratulations on all the attention you have received form this thread, hope you enjoy it.
@hatefull I'm a single father of a little girl so you really have no idea how far off base you are wrt me. One code I live by is to not talk about it but to be about it. Which involves respecting women to set an example of how women should expect to be treated by men. But I also don't live in fantasy land where everything is pristine and sterile. And if you honestly have convinced yourself that your sons, daughter, and wife have never experienced such acts online, then I'd question how you are able to type with your head buried so far beneath the sand. Another of my rules is don't trust guys, and for a good reason.
Not trusting anyone online goes without saying. But thanks for the enlightened advice. And what I'm saying is basic parenting 101. Sure, there's good guys in the world and awful women, but you play the percentages. You letting a dude babysit your kids? Anyways, have a wonderful father's day
Originally posted by Rinna After 12 years playing online ... you should know this by now lol
1.) Stop spending so much time in voice chat. Play your game, play with a variety of people, when you have to join voicechat, do it to hear instructions and keep your talking to a minimum.
2.) Make it known that you're married, very happily married and unavailable.
3.) Get a very small group of mature friends, who have lives outside of game (well balanced), who you can somewhat trust to just chat with and enjoy the company of. No immature, testosterone soaked males and no drama loving, attention whore females allowed. Hold them close, treat them right and game with them for a long long time.
4.) Make sure you're not seeking attention on voice chat, make sure on some level you don't secretly love the devotion you are complaining about because if you do, you won't end it. People have been killed IRL by men who met women online that worked them into such a lather they'd do anything for them. Make sure you're not using people for your own satisfaction on some level.
5.) Never give out personal info. Not never, Not never ever. Ever.
Ever.
Quoted for truth.
I try and find a guild with a female in the officers. In a PUG I tell them that my mic doesn't work, but that I can hear them just fine. And if I am harassed, I slap them down like the little boys they are and advise them to "go out and meet a real girl", not a cyber one.
You are young and will soon realise that this happens in real life too. How you handle it determines how it will continue. Predators sense victims, both online and in real life...stop being one NOW.
Originally posted by Albatroes After skimming lightly over this thread, I'm starting to see less and less the point of this thread. A "woman" gamer is complaining about guys giving "her" attention after playing online games for 12 years. I imagine you (OP) have encountered this problem more than once over 12 years and this is obviously been around since online gaming has existed, probably even before. Real solution (if it honestly needed to be more obvious), explain it once (firmly) and if they cannot accept it then ignore them/leave/etc. Coming on to a forum to get ideas wont matter since they will continue to act however they want until you're firm about your stance on it. Conforming to people like that will only make them do it more towards you. Since you're in your late twenties honestly all these ideas/etc should be obviously, unless you've like not talked to any guy like ever. Starting to think this thread was just made for attention since its so simple to solve.
What a coincidence, I had to the same conclusion, was trying to decide how to word it, but you did such a nice job Albatross that I will simply give your post a +1.
This thread kind of proves the point your making, if this was a male making this thread it would not of made it past page 2.
As a female online you simply get more attention, in an mmo this is magnified because a lot of people do see these games as a means of making relationships. Unless you are fully ok with the drama then really you should never use a voice chat program unless it is with people you know are not stupid, also contact outside of the game is a severe nono. At the very least you should pretty much ignore anyone that wanted to know you after being on voice chat or changed out of nowhere following it.
It's also very important to nip any kind of silly behaviour in the bud really fast, the longer it goes on the more incredibly mad they will get if they think you were using them or stringing them along. The sad thing is that many find it flattering and go with it for a short while, until they realize it's getting too much and by that point it's too far gone in the guys head and he turns into a psycho.
This is a lot more common than you would believe, it's also a lot more common on the newer mmo titles. Older titles like wow and ffxi are places you will have far less problems since the average player is a lot older.
My worst experiences have been on ffxiv and tera online, the mental age of many on these 2 games seems to be borderline mentally damaged.
Comments
I agree. Find a new guild. They might not be as badass or Leet but go ahead and find a new guild of more mature players. I've been around top guilds, good guilds, fun guilds, mean guilds.
Just go to a guild with mature people. Don't stick around because their raids are awesome or sth unless you are willing to deal with the crap they come with. So find a guild of mature gamers. (unless you wanna keep working the situation you are in, which clearly you dont like very much though you might be going on cool raids and high end stuff.)
I've been in top notch guilds with cool people so they exist!
Make that your happyly married wtf why because she is women she must lie like this so guys don´t act like idiots.
I would never advice this thats giving in on the IMMATURE jerks on the internet.
Start ignoring them i would say fuck them who have no mature mutal respect because your women.
Never lie so they back off then in a way they have won.
Stand your ground make sure they know you want to be respected as any other guy in the game when you earned and deserve all who don´t IGNORE FUCK THEM there not importend and waste time on them.
There still plenty guys out there that are not jerks and give respect play with them. I know won´t be easy but don´t take shit from assholes PERIOD.
Hope to build full AMD system RYZEN/VEGA/AM4!!!
MB:Asus V De Luxe z77
CPU:Intell Icore7 3770k
GPU: AMD Fury X(waiting for BIG VEGA 10 or 11 HBM2?(bit unclear now))
MEMORY:Corsair PLAT.DDR3 1866MHZ 16GB
PSU:Corsair AX1200i
OS:Windows 10 64bit
Find a guild with a female leader(preferably over 30 or better yet 40). Normally in that case it's going to be someone who's been playing for quite a while, and that started playing when there were even fewer women.
Or if you ever babysit just get the kids riled up and make sure they're heard over vent.
Practice doesn't make perfect, practice makes permanent.
"At one point technology meant making tech that could get to the moon, now it means making tech that could get you a taxi."
A female posted about being treated differently because she's female. So of course 17 pages of guys proving her point. Please reference South Park episode "Bebe's Boobs Destroy Society" for a scientific look at this amazing phenomenon.
This is bad advice, my experience has been that older female leaders playing with older female gamers is that they never get along and there is always conflict. Granted, it's anecdotal, but I don't think this is going to solve the problem.
At the very least it probably won't be the males you have issues with in the guild, so I guess it does kind of solve the problem in a way. If the males are accepting of a female guild leader than they probably won't be the types to harass female gamers.
My suggestion would be to join a guild of mostly older players. There are a few raiding/progression guilds out there that match this criteria. If someone harasses you tell them to stop and if they continue call them out to the guild leader and/or officers, if they don't take serious action against them leave and find a new guild. There are plenty of guild environments that don't have this issue with female player harassment and I'm not sure why you are having so much trouble finding one.
You can say you are a female and some may still think you are a guy. Ease them into it before going on a voice program.
Sad you when have to do this, but alas, there are a lot more immature idiots playing these days.
GL, and hope you can find the peace you seek, and recapture the fun you crave.
I tried to care about this
but
no
Maybe you should too, OP
This is written in good spirit.
Sway all day, butterfly flaps all the way!
^^ That is a winner.
As a gamer, a woman needs to grow thick skin and just cut ties with anyone that is a jerk or some lonely boy in a basement thinking the nice female voice on the other end of the line is his chance to escape to start a family.
I play EVE Online mostly, my alliance and even some in my corp are racist idiots from all parts of the world, some of them <20 years old thinking this is THE way to show how tough they are and to gain a reputation. It's very easy to pick out those players.
Woosh, on ignore ingame and on comms and byebye., have a nice life.
"going into arguments with idiots is a lost cause, it requires you to stoop down to their level and you can't win"
Ive played online games since their inception. As a woman, I find that other people in general do not give me attention unless I ask for it.
I have NEVER in my 30+ yrs as a female been unable to shake attention online I did not want. If you are having problems saying no to people because you feel responsible for how your no affects them, then this issue is not about them, but about you working out how to enforce boundiaries. Part of it, is being willing to not please every guy who seeks you out. Sort that shit out.
If you are having problems in conversations, where perhaps, your input is not wanted or needed, then stop butting in. In general, both online and in the real world, if you put yourself out there, and insist on people hearing your thoughts and ideas, you will eventually be made aware if the people around you, are not interested. It can be hard to accept that not everyone cares how you feel, all of the time. Not everyone gives a crap about how you think a raid should be run, or a challenge should be tackled. If they are not interested in your leadership and are not asking for your input, then perhaps you need to figure out if you can be a follower, and that means, being able to shut the fuck up. That is NOT about gender. A huge part of every raid is made up of people who can have fun without being the center of attention, and who do not need everyone to know what they think about whats going on. That large unsong hero of the raid, that doesnt take up time, and doesnt cause drama. Its a nice, quiet, comfortable spot to be in as a gamer. Try it.
Guys are not sociopathic monsters. And in general wont persue you, unless you encourage their behaviour. You might find it convenient to present it as though youve run into a den of socially dysfunctional males. But its more likely that your behaviour carries some responsibility for the issue and that you might need to work a bit on your own social skills. Shocking, I know.
QFT
This i think is good advice for any gamer, regardless of gender, and as gamers, should gender even matter anyway?
Perhaps try to take a short break from the game to let the "fanclub" quiet down a little. After that, make sure you keep them at an arm's length. If necessary, just be frank with them that you don't like where it's going.
It's hard to disappoint people and it might make you feel real bad; but sometimes it's necessary when those guys are getting the wrong idea.
Elitist jerks will be elitist jerks however. I haven't got anything good to say about them lot either. Develop a code of your own and just keep with it is my advice.
Overall, I'd just pick a bunch of people whom you want to hang out with closely and stick with that. Don't let just everyone get close unless they prove themselves.
Feel free to use my referral link for SW:TOR if you want to test out the game. You'll get some special unlocks!
A thread that *isn't* for complaining? Awesome! Wait, it kind of is. Oh well.
Just get another girl to insert herself in your community, then divulge her real life pictures. The pressure will be off you in seconds. Easy.
Join a girl guild.
Grievance Gamer Girls could solve your problems.
gggirls.net
/enjoy
Speak for yourself. If you want to be a creep than whatever, but do not pin that label to the rest of the gaming community. My wife games, my daughter games, as well as both of my teenage sons, and none of the participate in this behavior nor do they allow it to go on around them.
You disgust me, and speak for yourself.
If you want a new idea, go read an old book.
In order to be insulted, I must first value your opinion.
want 7 free days of playing? Try this
http://www.swtor.com/r/ZptVnY
In other news I have to learn to deal with women's crap everyday "kinda like this topic", guess it's just that whole women are from venus, men are from mars thing.
Learn to cope and how to deal, also congratulations on all the attention you have received form this thread, hope you enjoy it.
I'm a single father of a little girl so you really have no idea how far off base you are wrt me.
One code I live by is to not talk about it but to be about it.
Which involves respecting women to set an example of how women should expect to be treated by men.
But I also don't live in fantasy land where everything is pristine and sterile. And if you honestly have convinced yourself that your sons, daughter, and wife have never experienced such acts online, then I'd question how you are able to type with your head buried so far beneath the sand.
Another of my rules is don't trust guys, and for a good reason.
Femhype is cool
Mostly women but they okay with rainbowpeople too
Just be polite, it's not too much to ask
Sway all day, butterfly flaps all the way!
Anyways, have a wonderful father's day
Quoted for truth.
I try and find a guild with a female in the officers. In a PUG I tell them that my mic doesn't work, but that I can hear them just fine. And if I am harassed, I slap them down like the little boys they are and advise them to "go out and meet a real girl", not a cyber one.
You are young and will soon realise that this happens in real life too. How you handle it determines how it will continue. Predators sense victims, both online and in real life...stop being one NOW.
What a coincidence, I had to the same conclusion, was trying to decide how to word it, but you did such a nice job Albatross that I will simply give your post a +1.
This thread kind of proves the point your making, if this was a male making this thread it would not of made it past page 2.
As a female online you simply get more attention, in an mmo this is magnified because a lot of people do see these games as a means of making relationships. Unless you are fully ok with the drama then really you should never use a voice chat program unless it is with people you know are not stupid, also contact outside of the game is a severe nono. At the very least you should pretty much ignore anyone that wanted to know you after being on voice chat or changed out of nowhere following it.
It's also very important to nip any kind of silly behaviour in the bud really fast, the longer it goes on the more incredibly mad they will get if they think you were using them or stringing them along. The sad thing is that many find it flattering and go with it for a short while, until they realize it's getting too much and by that point it's too far gone in the guys head and he turns into a psycho.
This is a lot more common than you would believe, it's also a lot more common on the newer mmo titles. Older titles like wow and ffxi are places you will have far less problems since the average player is a lot older.
My worst experiences have been on ffxiv and tera online, the mental age of many on these 2 games seems to be borderline mentally damaged.